Sing to me, I am not doing well
Getting tired of my own words
And she had killed herself using magic, with a bit of help from Melita's arrows, nearly taking Thalassa with her. When lined up like that, Maea felt both better and worse about the accident. Better because she was not alone in making a mistake. Worse, because it was the kind of mistake she had been raised her whole life to avoid, warned against by the actions of the Voice and admonished by the gods; use her gifts in moderation. And yet. At the slightest hint that everything would be forgiven because her new matron deity was an embodiment of entropy, she just dropped all caution. Listening too much to that siren call of the void, letting caution fly on the wind... Getting tired of my own words
She nodded gravely, wholeheartedly agreeing. It was dangerous. Alluring, beautiful, thrilling - and like every form of power, something to handle with care. "Thank you, I truly appreciate that. It will be a relief, I think, to actually work on improving, instead of fretting about everything that can go wrong. I was, for a while, but then I grew cocky... It's not a mistake I intend to make again."
Starting to feel sated as the supply of mushrooms dwindled, Maea savored some more of the meat just for the pleasure of eating, and tilted her head in thought. "It varies a bit... For me it generally begins towards the middle and end of a season. How quickly it goes away depends on what I hunt. If I don't satisfy it completely, it lingers like an itch, or a craving... At first I tried to keep it that way, thinking it made me more aware of the dangers. Hunting small game and often... But it has been tiring. Keept me on edge. I don't like it either way... Or rather, I dislike that I actually enjoy it, if that makes sense."
It felt wrong that something violent should feel good. Like she had gone slightly insane, just on the edge of unhinged. And there was a certain allure in the idea of letting go, of ceasing to think, care, try... Would it be so bad to just let herself sink into that blood-soaked darkness?
No. And therein lay the whole source of her discomfort. That creature lurking on the shadow side was not someone she could take pride in. It was not the Maea Valair she knew.
Sing to me, cause I can't hear myself
through the loudness of my own hurts
through the loudness of my own hurts
base inspired by Odd <3
