[o] If the world was ending, I'd...

Sing to me, I am not doing well
Getting tired of my own words

Time dripped by in a gentle sway. The ground did not rise up to make the jump any lesser, and as she watched the boardwalk swim in and out of focus, a thought niggled at the back of her mind. Waiting patiently for it to manifest through the haze of the rum, Maea raised the bottle for another swig. To her surprise, only half a mouthful remained. Tipping it upside down to prove herself wrong, one precious drop fell from the lip, spilling down, down, down to waste itself against the planks below.

Huh. Weird. She'd not even had that much. At least it hadn't seemed much. Where had she been going again? Oh right, someplace quiet. And dark. And safe. Except, darkness wasn't really safe at all, and she was not supposed to be hiding anymore. It had been a promise.

With a regretful sigh, Maea set the bottle down on the edge of the roof. Setting her sights on the flickering light of a bonfire, she willed herself to grow wings and took flight. Round and round she circled, down and down, until the crow was close enough to a pyre and its revelers that she could land safely. Shifting in mid-air, she dropped into sand, staggering as her feet made contact with ground that swayed counter to her milling thoughts. Before she could fall, warm hands caught her. A young man smiled at her, pulling on her arm to join in with the revelers. She didn't know who it was, but it didn't matter as much this long, dark night. She might as well dance. If nothing was as it should be and nowhere was safe, it didn't really make a difference what she did or didn't do. As one idiot among others, she would be in good company. Did more stupidity in one place increase or decrease the folly?

No matter. And she shouldn't be calling anyone an idiot; Maea was supposed to be nice to herself from now on. Understanding. Accepting. Tolerant. 

Pulled by the stranger, by the pulse of music and by a painfully desperate desire for change, she moved her feet. Hesitant at first, then faster and faster, buoyied by hands in hers and other bodies that staggered and swayed in roughly the same direction, all thought bled away into a blurring kaleidoscope of darkness and light, as fire-bright sparks shot high into infinity. A heedless imitation of stars that would not emerge yet for hours and days. Flaring up only to fade away – so very brief an existence. 

One day they would all fade. One day, but hopefully not today. Until then...? All they could do in the interrim was to hope, and hold on. And occasionally join the dance.

[FIN]

Sing to me, cause I can't hear myself
through the loudness of my own hurts

base inspired by Odd <3