Deeds will not be less valiant
because they are unpraised.
because they are unpraised.
Alys's questions pulled him back to the snow of Halo, the blood pooling in his lungs as the life left him. The memory sent pain through his scar so sharp that it made him gasp softly, closing his eyes to dispel the tension building in the puckered skin. He placed a stabilizing hand against the sealed wound as he took a deep breath. "Well... I - I'm not sure."
He copied Alys, glancing up at the Crimson Cataract like it might distract him from the refuse of emotions he had to wade through. "When I - " Swallowing, he said the word aloud for the second time. "Um. When I - died.... I didn't think there was ever a possibility of coming back." He'd known of Ronin's ability, but he was in the middle of the Tundra with battle raging around him. And he hadn't even heard of a revivify feather. It didn't seem feasible, and he didn't consider himself important enough for people to attempt such a feat.
Zavien shook his head against the negativity to continue. "So when it ended... I chose to be..." He paused, trying to find the word before it finally came to him, "content." His hands came together, kneading the blood like it might bring warmth back to his body. Pressing his thumb firmly into his palm, he said softly, "I didn't want to leave any regrets or bitterness, so I - uh - I just... accepted it." His shoulders came up in a shrug, but the pang in his chest told of the conflict with his decision, with how easily he'd just 'given up.'
It nearly brought him down the spiral again, but he reached a hand down subconsciously to Sol's head, soothing the emotions enough to let him glance up at Alys. "So... I guess the short answer is no." Not wanting her to mistake his meaning, he added, "But only because I made the decision to leave everything behind so that I could rest in peace..." Shame and embarrassment filled him, making his head hang, already feeling drained from the confessions. His hand moved over Sol's golden scales as he steeled himself for the other questions she may have.
He copied Alys, glancing up at the Crimson Cataract like it might distract him from the refuse of emotions he had to wade through. "When I - " Swallowing, he said the word aloud for the second time. "Um. When I - died.... I didn't think there was ever a possibility of coming back." He'd known of Ronin's ability, but he was in the middle of the Tundra with battle raging around him. And he hadn't even heard of a revivify feather. It didn't seem feasible, and he didn't consider himself important enough for people to attempt such a feat.
Zavien shook his head against the negativity to continue. "So when it ended... I chose to be..." He paused, trying to find the word before it finally came to him, "content." His hands came together, kneading the blood like it might bring warmth back to his body. Pressing his thumb firmly into his palm, he said softly, "I didn't want to leave any regrets or bitterness, so I - uh - I just... accepted it." His shoulders came up in a shrug, but the pang in his chest told of the conflict with his decision, with how easily he'd just 'given up.'
It nearly brought him down the spiral again, but he reached a hand down subconsciously to Sol's head, soothing the emotions enough to let him glance up at Alys. "So... I guess the short answer is no." Not wanting her to mistake his meaning, he added, "But only because I made the decision to leave everything behind so that I could rest in peace..." Shame and embarrassment filled him, making his head hang, already feeling drained from the confessions. His hand moved over Sol's golden scales as he steeled himself for the other questions she may have.
Zavien
