I can't control their fear, only my own.
The dance of tiptoeing and skirting topics was finally over. He'd certainly asked for her honesty, but Zavien hadn't been expecting what came from her mouth, the way it made him feel so small. 'Rational' wasn't necessarily a word he wanted to hear from someone he cared about, who he thought cared for him. It felt more like reluctant understanding than loving support, his heart withering a little at the way it made him feel more like an invalid than a partner. She continued on, only making the pain and guilt worsen. Unconscious or not, his arm slowly fell from her shoulder, head lowering as he listened to every piece of damning evidence. He couldn't argue with any of her points, agreeing that they were better as a team, fighting together against the world collapsing around them. Yet, wasn't that why he'd asked her to come with him? Why he planned to hop from friend to friend throughout Caido? Why he was trying to get stronger?
Zavien was silent, rubbing his own mug like a genie might appear to fix everything, but when nothing happened, he was left to answer the questions on his own. His voice was quieter, less certain as he said, "I don't have an answer for that. I would hope it's not more than a month, but..." He brought his shoulders up in a shrug, suddenly losing the warmth he'd had moments before, leaving him cold and tired. "I guess I'll just know when the time's right..." He stared into his mug, willing it to somehow return the moment that had been stolen, the heart that had been beating in his chest but moments before.
Feeling like he had to defend himself for some reason, he swallowed down the sour dread in his throat. "I won't always be gone. I'll still need to check in with the Dragoons - but I can't justify staying here like a sitting target, just hoping that the family doesn't notice me while I'm like this." Weak. His body may have healed, but he needed to refortify his mind and find out what lingering effects may have resulted from his injuries. It was like bleeding into the water, hoping the shark wouldn't bite. It wasn't in their nature, and if they had a chance to eliminate someone they found a thread, in their own city, why wouldn't they? That made him - and everyone associated with him - a target. He wouldn't risk that.
Zavien was silent, rubbing his own mug like a genie might appear to fix everything, but when nothing happened, he was left to answer the questions on his own. His voice was quieter, less certain as he said, "I don't have an answer for that. I would hope it's not more than a month, but..." He brought his shoulders up in a shrug, suddenly losing the warmth he'd had moments before, leaving him cold and tired. "I guess I'll just know when the time's right..." He stared into his mug, willing it to somehow return the moment that had been stolen, the heart that had been beating in his chest but moments before.
Feeling like he had to defend himself for some reason, he swallowed down the sour dread in his throat. "I won't always be gone. I'll still need to check in with the Dragoons - but I can't justify staying here like a sitting target, just hoping that the family doesn't notice me while I'm like this." Weak. His body may have healed, but he needed to refortify his mind and find out what lingering effects may have resulted from his injuries. It was like bleeding into the water, hoping the shark wouldn't bite. It wasn't in their nature, and if they had a chance to eliminate someone they found a thread, in their own city, why wouldn't they? That made him - and everyone associated with him - a target. He wouldn't risk that.
Zavien
