// to the green lessons //
She didn’t expect his shoulder to drop out from underneath her, for her honesty to be met with something cold. Maybe this was why she’d barely voiced it at all. Moments later she felt herself pressing against the railing, body wholly stiffened, hands clutching hold of the mug to receive the rest of the dissipating warmth. “It felt like you decided on things before you even told me what happened. I had barely any chance to recover from -,” she stopped, took a breath, tried not to fumble around in her feelings. She’d been expected to drop everything she’d ever worked on or towards, and shortly after being told he’d been killed. To accomplish what? When would they be strong enough to muster opportunities for vengeance against the Family? The void? She wasn’t giving in or giving up hope, but there were other ways to combat these horrible, terrible people, and brute force hadn’t done them much good in the interim. “None of that was decided on together.” Hadn’t she asked for more time? Moments to process? Opportunities for discussion and thought and rationality, away from the dirge of death?
Just ‘knowing when the time was right’ made her head hang low, and she glanced from stone to stone, little green shoots rising from an impending garden. Wondering what it meant if they were all just sitting ducks. Or if they were simply ignored, pebbles in the Family’s shoes. Their adversaries were already stronger than the demigods they had within Caido. She just didn’t see the point of tearing one another apart, angling in different directions, when they could’ve been forging in ways that might’ve been applicable, and far more likely to cause a shift. “I’m not stopping you. You asked my opinion, and I don’t think it’s the best strategy we could be taking.” But in the end, it didn’t seem to matter, and maybe that hurt a little more too. The Family could find him, any of them, anywhere they pleased, and they'd be so far apart, scattered, and separated, that the void could fold over them like a veil.
Just ‘knowing when the time was right’ made her head hang low, and she glanced from stone to stone, little green shoots rising from an impending garden. Wondering what it meant if they were all just sitting ducks. Or if they were simply ignored, pebbles in the Family’s shoes. Their adversaries were already stronger than the demigods they had within Caido. She just didn’t see the point of tearing one another apart, angling in different directions, when they could’ve been forging in ways that might’ve been applicable, and far more likely to cause a shift. “I’m not stopping you. You asked my opinion, and I don’t think it’s the best strategy we could be taking.” But in the end, it didn’t seem to matter, and maybe that hurt a little more too. The Family could find him, any of them, anywhere they pleased, and they'd be so far apart, scattered, and separated, that the void could fold over them like a veil.
Lena
// of soft, simple quiet beneath the sun //
