they say looks can kill and i might try

Jude

Every time we touch, your hands are colder, colder
There's no beating coming from your wooden chest

That's exactly what best friends did. They rallied behind you even when, secretly, they didn't agree or they had unvoiced concerns. Jude holds her hand and feels like she's miles away as she soldiers onward without a moment of hesitation. She's right here, but she's not. And he can see the path ahead that leads him straight to Koa's moment of error, and all he can think is please don't let me do the same.

He can't push her away, because then how will he reach her when the moment comes where he'll need her to take his hand without hesitation? And he has to believe that moment will come. Jude has been firmly ignoring the situation with the Family all this time, guilt be damned because there's nothing special about him that could possibly impact the course of history that this will someday turn into. But because a girl had the courage to sit down next to him on the worst night of his life, suddenly there's no other option. And he has to somehow lie to her the entire time, because he can't let her slip any further away.

These revelations sink like a stone through his body as he casts his eyes to the ceiling in the way he normally does when thinking hard. This time it's to quell the stinging that warns of tears. "Maybe. Caido as a whole doesn't really like change." Fuck, what does he say? It's so hard to think when his heart is so loud in his ears. "But Koa's your big brother. That's what big brothers do, right? Overreact, assume they know what's best, try to vet your friends and crushes..." he trails off with a lopsided smile, daring to look into her face again. He misses Edmund so intensely it burns in his throat. His brother would have handled this better. He would have known the right things to say, while Jude can barely find his tongue even with the most precious thing he has hanging in the balance. 

"And he's a Dragoon, they're super against change as like...an organization." Squeezing her fingers, Jude wiggles their joined hands like he's trying to shake another smile out of her. "You can totally be angry at him for being stupid, but maybe if you try to find a middle ground he'll warm up to the idea?" What would he have advised in a different situation? This feels right, but the cold sweat on his neck reminds him that he has to make this natural enough to slide under her radar. "Like maybe you visit Vox a little less and don't bring him up much so Koa won't fly off the handle, and in return maybe you can argue that Koa needs to be home more to see that you're fine?"

Frozen grin, a mannequin when I get closer
I can see the strings, they're underneath your vest