you hate the crash, but you love the rush
Flora’s throat tightens painfully, a lump forming that she can’t quite swallow, no matter how many times she tries. Jack's words settle between them, and although her ring remains cool and steady on her finger—not so much as a hint of warmth to indicate a lie—it's still so, so hard to quiet the relentless storm in her mind. Because Safrin isn’t just another girl. Safrin is silk and starlight, desire made flesh; she's everything Flora could never hope to compete with. Even if Jack’s words are true—and they are, because the ring remains cool against her skin—the feeling of inadequacy burns hotter than any truth could soothe away.
When Flora finally moves, it’s to scrub angrily at the tears that threaten to spill over again, annoyed with herself for feeling this way, frustrated that she can't just brush it off, move on, or even be the sort of girl who'd tell Jack to take Safrin for all she was worth so long as he came home to her in the end. Her gaze lifts, tentative, vulnerable, aqua eyes gleaming with unshed tears as she searches the captain's face for something she doesn’t quite know how to ask for. "I'm glad you told me." Surprisingly she is, but at twenty-two, gods, she never thought loving someone could hurt so much or be so complicated.
With another shaky breath, Flora slowly shifts off the bed; the wood of the cabin floor is cool beneath her bare feet as she slips quietly toward Jack, closing the gap between them. She settles at the edge of the desk, not quite touching him yet, fingers restlessly fidgeting with one of the rings on her hands. "It’s just..." Her words trail off helplessly, eyes slipping shut as she shakes her head. "I know it’s not the same for you. I know it was just...whatever. But—" Well it was a bit like saying you still liked drinking coffee after you'd had the finest opium.
"—I just wish you hadn't." She finally admits, her expression painfully young and uncertain as she peeks back up at Jack, not really knowing where they were meant to go from here. This wasn't something that flowers or sweet gestures would fix; this was something already done that could never be undone. Something she doubted either of them would ever be able to forget or not think about during certain moments.
When Flora finally moves, it’s to scrub angrily at the tears that threaten to spill over again, annoyed with herself for feeling this way, frustrated that she can't just brush it off, move on, or even be the sort of girl who'd tell Jack to take Safrin for all she was worth so long as he came home to her in the end. Her gaze lifts, tentative, vulnerable, aqua eyes gleaming with unshed tears as she searches the captain's face for something she doesn’t quite know how to ask for. "I'm glad you told me." Surprisingly she is, but at twenty-two, gods, she never thought loving someone could hurt so much or be so complicated.
With another shaky breath, Flora slowly shifts off the bed; the wood of the cabin floor is cool beneath her bare feet as she slips quietly toward Jack, closing the gap between them. She settles at the edge of the desk, not quite touching him yet, fingers restlessly fidgeting with one of the rings on her hands. "It’s just..." Her words trail off helplessly, eyes slipping shut as she shakes her head. "I know it’s not the same for you. I know it was just...whatever. But—" Well it was a bit like saying you still liked drinking coffee after you'd had the finest opium.
"—I just wish you hadn't." She finally admits, her expression painfully young and uncertain as she peeks back up at Jack, not really knowing where they were meant to go from here. This wasn't something that flowers or sweet gestures would fix; this was something already done that could never be undone. Something she doubted either of them would ever be able to forget or not think about during certain moments.
