you hate the crash, but you love the rush
Flora flinches slightly at Jack’s words, guilt pooling hot and sharp in the pit of her stomach as she's forced to face down the sharp edges of her insecurities again, still picking at the scabs of every wound she’d ever collected from not being enough. She wants to argue, to say that she isn't asking him to prove anything—that she’s just trying to be realistic because it’s one thing for Jack to say he’s committed now, but what about in a week? A month? A year? Saying he'd already made his decision and could stick to it felt a bit like Flora saying she'd never cause drama again just because she held her tongue one time.
Slowly, Flora exhales, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that have stubbornly risen again despite her best efforts, one hand coming up to rub roughly at her eyes. "I don't want this to be over," she says finally, though it’s soft and painfully vulnerable. "But I feel like you're just putting this all on me." Pausing, the queen holds out her cup for Jack to fill, before immediately downing it all again.
'Because—" She continues, despite the fire creeping up the back of her throat. "I mean, you and I both know you could be a little bit better." At communicating how much he loved her, at showing it in ways she understood rather than being expected to read his mind as easily as he read hers. "And yes I know you said you would work on it. but why is it when I say that I don't know if you'll be happy like this you double down and get offended that I'd even ask, and yet this is like the millionth time you've made me say that I want to stay?"
Slowly, Flora exhales, blinking rapidly to clear the tears that have stubbornly risen again despite her best efforts, one hand coming up to rub roughly at her eyes. "I don't want this to be over," she says finally, though it’s soft and painfully vulnerable. "But I feel like you're just putting this all on me." Pausing, the queen holds out her cup for Jack to fill, before immediately downing it all again.
'Because—" She continues, despite the fire creeping up the back of her throat. "I mean, you and I both know you could be a little bit better." At communicating how much he loved her, at showing it in ways she understood rather than being expected to read his mind as easily as he read hers. "And yes I know you said you would work on it. but why is it when I say that I don't know if you'll be happy like this you double down and get offended that I'd even ask, and yet this is like the millionth time you've made me say that I want to stay?"
