MAEA
The worst case? Maea scratched the base of a horn, gingerly avoiding the braids as much as possible. "I might be tempted to grow complacent," she admitted. "Changing my plans because it's what I want or need is one thing. But right now I get the feeling that staying here would be like giving up. If I settled in here and began to invest in this region, in these people, because I can't be elsewhere, I wonder if I would grow to resent it..?" Like hitting a dead end, and slowly losing her mind over the limited options, the restricted scenery, the unresolved conflict she had abandoned in the name of comfort.
Gradually, two vastly different topic began bleeding together. At the heart and root of her hesitation to settle stood a fuming young woman with hard eyes and a loud voice that steam-rollered over her, leaving no time to think or process what was happening.
"I was completely run over," Maea snorted. "I was surprised, and grew defensive - and apparently I'm terribly rude when it gets like that. I thought I was calm and reasonable, but everything I said only pissed her off more. And too many things she said seemed accurate, so I ended up agreeing with her..."
Blow by blow Maea described the encounter on the docks. The accusations of being the cause for Seren's death, however indirectly, by taking up space that could have - should have? - belonged to a sister. She touched on the conflict with Astaroth, though didn't dive into any details because that was a whole session's worth of things to unpack, and recounted the incident in Frey's Breath where a disparaging mutter aimed at herself had been overheard by Flora, who wouldn't accept it had been a misunderstanding.
"So, because of those things - the catastrophic meeting, the imagined insult, that I fought with her friends and for being perceived as rude, 'these words coming out of your mouth is why everyone hates you'," she cited, mimicking Flora's tone. "She doesn't like me and she doesn't want me on her shores, and that's that." All this to say, Maea didn't even know where to begin arguing. Didn't have the energy to contend with the judgement, nor the desire to change the Doubletake's perception. "I don't need to be loved or even liked by her. All I wanted was a chance to make amends and to really change - so I won't repeat these mistakes I keep making." The lashing out at others when she was in pain, the freezing and digging her heels in when she was put on the spot, the overbearing need to fix things for others without invitation... misplaced because what she really wanted was to see people around her happy and at ease. Because she wanted to be at ease, and ignoring a problem that could be solved went against some deeply fundamental part of her being.
Gradually, two vastly different topic began bleeding together. At the heart and root of her hesitation to settle stood a fuming young woman with hard eyes and a loud voice that steam-rollered over her, leaving no time to think or process what was happening.
"I was completely run over," Maea snorted. "I was surprised, and grew defensive - and apparently I'm terribly rude when it gets like that. I thought I was calm and reasonable, but everything I said only pissed her off more. And too many things she said seemed accurate, so I ended up agreeing with her..."
Blow by blow Maea described the encounter on the docks. The accusations of being the cause for Seren's death, however indirectly, by taking up space that could have - should have? - belonged to a sister. She touched on the conflict with Astaroth, though didn't dive into any details because that was a whole session's worth of things to unpack, and recounted the incident in Frey's Breath where a disparaging mutter aimed at herself had been overheard by Flora, who wouldn't accept it had been a misunderstanding.
"So, because of those things - the catastrophic meeting, the imagined insult, that I fought with her friends and for being perceived as rude, 'these words coming out of your mouth is why everyone hates you'," she cited, mimicking Flora's tone. "She doesn't like me and she doesn't want me on her shores, and that's that." All this to say, Maea didn't even know where to begin arguing. Didn't have the energy to contend with the judgement, nor the desire to change the Doubletake's perception. "I don't need to be loved or even liked by her. All I wanted was a chance to make amends and to really change - so I won't repeat these mistakes I keep making." The lashing out at others when she was in pain, the freezing and digging her heels in when she was put on the spot, the overbearing need to fix things for others without invitation... misplaced because what she really wanted was to see people around her happy and at ease. Because she wanted to be at ease, and ignoring a problem that could be solved went against some deeply fundamental part of her being.
I see a new horizon, holding on to hope
Say goodbye to all my pain when it's time for me to go
Say goodbye to all my pain when it's time for me to go
BASE INSPIRED BY ODD <3
