Maea
And I never know what to say
'Til I'm already walking away
The way he cut her off silenced Maea, slamming the lid on any further verbal laments. Maybe it felt a bit too much like whining, after putting him through this ordeal. It didn't mean the wasn't squirming in self torment on the inside, but at least she kept it to herself. She would have been fine with dangling too. The ease with which Hadama shifted her around made her not only look like a doll but feel the part of one. She allowed it because it was him, and permitted herself to accept the support he offered while she struggled to come to terms with this awful power she had been bestowed. It helped that he was warm; made it less tempting to wriggle herself free in a fit of misguided pride.
"It would be easier to resist if the power didn't feel so... so good," she grumbled, pushing out the words like it was a poison needing to be expelled. Perhaps, by talking about her concerns they might shrink from the looming mountains they appeared in her mind. Maybe by normalizing the darkness this bloodbane called forth in her, it would seem more possible to overcome it. "I... can see why I need to train with it. But the idea of getting used to being like that... it's like agreeing to to start a habit of drugs. I'm afraid I won't want to snap out of it."
Like just now, when she'd been eager to self-destruct just to get another fix.
"It would be easier to resist if the power didn't feel so... so good," she grumbled, pushing out the words like it was a poison needing to be expelled. Perhaps, by talking about her concerns they might shrink from the looming mountains they appeared in her mind. Maybe by normalizing the darkness this bloodbane called forth in her, it would seem more possible to overcome it. "I... can see why I need to train with it. But the idea of getting used to being like that... it's like agreeing to to start a habit of drugs. I'm afraid I won't want to snap out of it."
Like just now, when she'd been eager to self-destruct just to get another fix.
Wanna punch you in the face
But I won't, but I might, but I won't
