I'll let it burn the way the sunlight burns my skin
The way I feel inside, the way the day begins
The way I feel inside, the way the day begins
He had never thought it possible to feel this hollow, even with all of the loss he had experienced in his life — for Halo had never been kind. The gods had mercy—he knew that, had felt it in the way they had spared his life when the darkness should have swallowed him whole. But there was no mercy in the ache within him, the way his soul yearned for its other half. ”I will host a wake.” It would be nothing of the large funerals they had known before, of gatherings of grief and cold understanding. But it would still honor her.
He ran a hand over his face, rough and calloused, as if he could scrub away the weight pressing down on him. It didn’t work. It never did. His fingers only found the wet tracks of salt. ”Getting better, I think, but there is no balm to heal them. Ravenna has gone to a shrine and aged, Marcus told me. Margot stopped eating for a while, but with help she’s starting to return to herself. Marcus he keeps himself focused and busy hunting with Cordelia’s dad.” They were all trying to do the best they could, and Noah was thankful for his in-laws for taking such good care of them. Noah’s eyes flicked to the floor for a moment, a wave of guilt washing over him. He didn’t rest their long, though, as words of Halo’s — Deimos’ — plans opened.
Noah let the words carve through him, let the frigid weight of them settle bone-deep. The void had been the destruction of the springs, and the demolition of much else that Noah would be learning in the coming days. His jaw feathered and the mix of fur and feathers on his neck puffed with the indignance of it. ”I know you have every position covered, but I am here again and can help where it is needed.” He said, sincerity laced in every word spoken with his raspy voice. He sniffed some, hand running over his cheeks again to remove the last remnants of his tears.
Once, Deimos had been a refuge, his mirror in strength and silence. A brother in arms even when their paths diverged. There had been a time when Noah could have sat beside him and let the quiet stretch between them, let it speak in ways neither of them needed words for. But now… it had been too long. Too much had been lost between them. Noah didn’t know what to say, but he yearned to bridge the gap — but he wasn’t sure he could withstand the weight of hoping only to discover there was nothing left to salvage between them.
But gods, he wished—wished in the depths of his grief-stricken soul—that he could sit beside his friend and be seen.
Noah had lost too much, and now sitting before the warden feeling like he was losing him all over again, he couldn’t take it.
Deimos— It came over the bond, too vulnerable and too difficult to speak into the air of the office, —I want to—I want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for how I treated you when I was angry with Vi, with myself. It wasn’t— He paused for a moment as if his mental voice was catching on his heart in his throat like his physical voice, the emotions still rolling like waves over the bond, I can’t do this any more. You were my best friend — my brother—
He ran a hand over his face, rough and calloused, as if he could scrub away the weight pressing down on him. It didn’t work. It never did. His fingers only found the wet tracks of salt. ”Getting better, I think, but there is no balm to heal them. Ravenna has gone to a shrine and aged, Marcus told me. Margot stopped eating for a while, but with help she’s starting to return to herself. Marcus he keeps himself focused and busy hunting with Cordelia’s dad.” They were all trying to do the best they could, and Noah was thankful for his in-laws for taking such good care of them. Noah’s eyes flicked to the floor for a moment, a wave of guilt washing over him. He didn’t rest their long, though, as words of Halo’s — Deimos’ — plans opened.
Noah let the words carve through him, let the frigid weight of them settle bone-deep. The void had been the destruction of the springs, and the demolition of much else that Noah would be learning in the coming days. His jaw feathered and the mix of fur and feathers on his neck puffed with the indignance of it. ”I know you have every position covered, but I am here again and can help where it is needed.” He said, sincerity laced in every word spoken with his raspy voice. He sniffed some, hand running over his cheeks again to remove the last remnants of his tears.
Once, Deimos had been a refuge, his mirror in strength and silence. A brother in arms even when their paths diverged. There had been a time when Noah could have sat beside him and let the quiet stretch between them, let it speak in ways neither of them needed words for. But now… it had been too long. Too much had been lost between them. Noah didn’t know what to say, but he yearned to bridge the gap — but he wasn’t sure he could withstand the weight of hoping only to discover there was nothing left to salvage between them.
But gods, he wished—wished in the depths of his grief-stricken soul—that he could sit beside his friend and be seen.
Noah had lost too much, and now sitting before the warden feeling like he was losing him all over again, he couldn’t take it.
Deimos— It came over the bond, too vulnerable and too difficult to speak into the air of the office, —I want to—I want to say that I am sorry. I am sorry for how I treated you when I was angry with Vi, with myself. It wasn’t— He paused for a moment as if his mental voice was catching on his heart in his throat like his physical voice, the emotions still rolling like waves over the bond, I can’t do this any more. You were my best friend — my brother—
I'm ready now, I'm not waiting for the other side
