i might as well be drunk in love

I couldn't utter my love when it counted
Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now

What goes up must come down. Koa has always been a denser lad; it's no wonder that he falls so hard, especially given how fucking smothering reality is these days. "I can't--" he repeats, his voice catching, and this time when he shakes his head it's less a denial and more an attempt to clear the ringing in his ears. Every part of him screams that he's being an idiot, that he should take this gift and cling to it before it's snatched out of his hands.

Except... how can it possibly be the right thing, with the rest of the world at stake? The memory of his conversation with Flora springs up, uninvited: there were things he hadn't been able to say then, things that now he can't hold back. "You don't understand. Of course I want to cure Noe more than anything in the world, but... but can a rose really be spared?"

The hands on Sohalia's tremble; he's not sure which of them he's trying hardest to convince. "If a flower could be used to clear Starfall - to stop the Family... should we really be using it on people who are... well, y'know. Ronin, Sunjata, you-- people who matter, so to speak."

 Because while Noe may matter more to Koa than nearly anyone in the world, he's still a soldier, trained to sacrifice the part to serve the whole.

Koa

And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted
Ah, but I'm singing like a bird 'bout it now

totally sniped from odd ilu