// now I've been crazy, couldn't you tell? //
Sucking in a breath to protest that she'd done no such thing – which was entirely true, Maea hadn't thought further about Liam than possibly wanting to hold his hand, which no doubt made her a hopeless prude in Flora's book – but held off, as Flora's expression changed and the conversation took a turn. Intensified, in a way that felt too familiar. It was the tightening in her gut, and the prickly feel on the back of her neck that suggested she would have to start breathing again, to stay calm as that old fear of conflict reared its ugly head again. This time it was easier to recognize that it was get own response that was the problem, not Flora's words or even her tone, so low with warning against a perceived insult to her homeland Maea had not even recognized.
Turning slowly to face the bar, she set the drink down, the last dregs tepid and slightly bitter on the tongue.
"I meant no offense by calling it that," she said as she looked at Flora, wanting to make that plain before it had a chance to spiral. "It was a poor choice of words; if anything it was a hope, that the Greatwood would be seen as such and thus be spared any further notice." Though perhaps it was naive, given it was the source of one of the rare antidotes to the Void infection. "I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to say, if I'm to be honest. That I should not stay here? That I can't care about the region because I have been here for such a short while? If you mean that I am too weak to do anything in case something does happen here – I am fully aware. I just... don't know how to become a stronger, better person if I stay where and who I've always been. Gods know it hasn't done anyone any good so far." Not Torchline, nor the Grounds, and certainly not herself.
"Do you really think my being here is going to bring ruin on your homeland?" It came out far more pleading than she'd intended; like a deep fear had been voiced out loud, that she really was some kind of jinx just waiting to strike any person or place she ever began to care about.
Turning slowly to face the bar, she set the drink down, the last dregs tepid and slightly bitter on the tongue.
"I meant no offense by calling it that," she said as she looked at Flora, wanting to make that plain before it had a chance to spiral. "It was a poor choice of words; if anything it was a hope, that the Greatwood would be seen as such and thus be spared any further notice." Though perhaps it was naive, given it was the source of one of the rare antidotes to the Void infection. "I'm not entirely sure what you are trying to say, if I'm to be honest. That I should not stay here? That I can't care about the region because I have been here for such a short while? If you mean that I am too weak to do anything in case something does happen here – I am fully aware. I just... don't know how to become a stronger, better person if I stay where and who I've always been. Gods know it hasn't done anyone any good so far." Not Torchline, nor the Grounds, and certainly not herself.
"Do you really think my being here is going to bring ruin on your homeland?" It came out far more pleading than she'd intended; like a deep fear had been voiced out loud, that she really was some kind of jinx just waiting to strike any person or place she ever began to care about.
Maea
// I threw stones at the stars but the whole sky fell //
