She seems to struggle with whether or not to answer, but after a moment she does. It reminds me of a tree bending in the wind, and the moment it’s finally released. I give her an encouraging nod.
The look in her eye is one my heart goes out to—it can only be the look of someone determined to keep going, even when their feet are bleeding. And then I understand why. I just about forget the shortbread in my hand, my eyes wide she explains fully what has her looking so worn. Flora had gotten infected on purpose... it wasn’t a far leap to understand why those two would be upset with her, or which one it was that left. I don’t let myself react, not yet, especially not to the realization that this is my would-be cousin. She’s just here. I’ve run into her by chance.
Holy shit.
Don’t react.
But then… ’Even queens don’t get a pass on heartache, right?’
I do react to that, face falling a little, brows knitting up at the center. She’s a queen, of course she’s staying as strong as she is—she's kinda required to—but that doesn’t mean she should have to be strong all the time. I feel a pang of not-quite-guilt but something close to it. I’ve known loss, pain, but not the way all these people I hear stories about do. My life has been comparably easy.
“Come sit with me?” I invite, and scoot over a little on the rock. I brush my crumbs away from the empty space before she can sit. I give it a minute, taking a bite of shortbread before I say anything again. “I’ve never had anyone leave me. And I’ve never had to make a decision like that—one where people depend on me. That must have been scary. I’d have been terrified, anyway.” I lift a gentle brow at her. “I think that was really brave.” I take another bite of the shortbread, nearly gone now, and I watch the peacefully floating river. “And that your boyfriend is stupid.” I smile in a way that says I’m trying to be funny, that I know I’ve never met the man. ”Not that I know anything about boyfriends either.”
but my god, you're alive and it's spectacular
