i could be the reason you can't sleep at night
Flora’s breath hitches softly at the question, and though she’s grateful for the shift—grateful that Soh isn’t leaving, isn’t staying angry forever—there’s a fresh ache behind her eyes that flares at the sound of Jack's name. She draws her knees up, curling her arms around them as she exhales through her nose, a tired sound, like the dregs of storm-wind bleeding out of a sail. "It was awful," she admits, her voice low. "I mean...I knew he’d be annoyed and probably mad. I even expected him to leave the harbour for a bit. But not like that. Not for real."
She swallows, glancing out toward the bright tangle of wildflowers, but all she sees are fragments of the docks in King’s End, Jack's silhouette fading into the fog. "He didn’t even read the letters I sent after the first one. Said he’d put our magical parchment away in a drawer, didn’t look at it again. He said…" Her voice cracks, and she forces herself to keep going, voice raw and exposed. "He said I’d turned Torchline into a prison. That he didn’t feel safe with me anymore. That he didn’t trust me."
One of her hands curls into the grass beside her, twisting it between her fingers. "I didn’t tell him because I was trying to protect him. But all he saw was that I made a choice that could’ve gotten him killed, or used by the Family, without even asking. But...he'd said before that he wanted to be a thorn in their side, to be unignorable and to not let them walk all over us so I really thought he'd understand about extreme measures being taken."
She shrugs, hollow. "Now he’s gone. I don’t know if he’s coming back...It's the longest we've ever gone without speaking, and.." Flora finally turns her gaze back to her friend, and her expression is wide open, fragile and shattered. "It hurts so bad I can’t even breathe sometimes, but..it was worth it, wasn't it? To protect Torchline?"
She swallows, glancing out toward the bright tangle of wildflowers, but all she sees are fragments of the docks in King’s End, Jack's silhouette fading into the fog. "He didn’t even read the letters I sent after the first one. Said he’d put our magical parchment away in a drawer, didn’t look at it again. He said…" Her voice cracks, and she forces herself to keep going, voice raw and exposed. "He said I’d turned Torchline into a prison. That he didn’t feel safe with me anymore. That he didn’t trust me."
One of her hands curls into the grass beside her, twisting it between her fingers. "I didn’t tell him because I was trying to protect him. But all he saw was that I made a choice that could’ve gotten him killed, or used by the Family, without even asking. But...he'd said before that he wanted to be a thorn in their side, to be unignorable and to not let them walk all over us so I really thought he'd understand about extreme measures being taken."
She shrugs, hollow. "Now he’s gone. I don’t know if he’s coming back...It's the longest we've ever gone without speaking, and.." Flora finally turns her gaze back to her friend, and her expression is wide open, fragile and shattered. "It hurts so bad I can’t even breathe sometimes, but..it was worth it, wasn't it? To protect Torchline?"
