Theea
I glance at Elizabeth, unsure if she’s so easy to talk to because she’s a therapist, or if she’s just… easy to talk to. Something inside bristles, but, after just a moment, I wonder how much of that bristling is just my mother in me. “She didn’t really for a long time, even when I’d ask her or my dad to—idiot kid thinks she can be a grown up.” I let go of an awkward laugh, because I am very much the idiot kid that went to Frey to turn into a grown up. My half-smile withers, and I swallow, looking down at the bread. “She was a lot more… open with it more after we lost my dad. I was eleven. Which… thanks Frey… was only three years ago.”
I was always spared the horrors of her upbringing, but I know enough, I’ve seen her night terrors since my dad can’t take care of her. I know the guilt she carries, the burdens she no longer could shoulder with his help. It fell to me to hold her when she wept, to talk her through the flashbacks, through the night terrors, through all these things I thought she knew how to do. She never did—she’d just depended on my dad for it. “She did get better about it as time wore on, but I worry for her. She’s got to figure it out for herself now.” And I have to figure it out for myself. I need to know who I am, beyond just a daughter.
I take another bite of bread, almost chuckling to myself. I have a habit of being too open—of course I find and start to befriend a therapist. It wasn’t until just now that I’d ever considered that I would benefit from a chat with someone too. Not that I plan to pick something like that up just now—I’ve got too much to do to, and too far to—
”Oh,” I say at her offer, and a bewildered sort of smile flits across my face. ”That’s so kind, I’m so used to having a companion.” But then I bite my lip, glancing at her back where Vi’s rose is tucked safely away. ”But I think you have another stop to make first.” There’s regret in my eyes, I hope, because I feel it. She’s nice, and I get incredibly lonely. ”I just want to get there as soon as I can. I promised my mom I’d go straight to them. She thinks I’ll be safer that way. I talked to a man named Niki, he recommended I do the same — work on a ship for passage, or work around town to raise the funds.” I purse my lips a bit, and I try to quell the yearning in my chest. "Is there a way to just... reach you? It'd be cool to hang out again."
I was always spared the horrors of her upbringing, but I know enough, I’ve seen her night terrors since my dad can’t take care of her. I know the guilt she carries, the burdens she no longer could shoulder with his help. It fell to me to hold her when she wept, to talk her through the flashbacks, through the night terrors, through all these things I thought she knew how to do. She never did—she’d just depended on my dad for it. “She did get better about it as time wore on, but I worry for her. She’s got to figure it out for herself now.” And I have to figure it out for myself. I need to know who I am, beyond just a daughter.
I take another bite of bread, almost chuckling to myself. I have a habit of being too open—of course I find and start to befriend a therapist. It wasn’t until just now that I’d ever considered that I would benefit from a chat with someone too. Not that I plan to pick something like that up just now—I’ve got too much to do to, and too far to—
”Oh,” I say at her offer, and a bewildered sort of smile flits across my face. ”That’s so kind, I’m so used to having a companion.” But then I bite my lip, glancing at her back where Vi’s rose is tucked safely away. ”But I think you have another stop to make first.” There’s regret in my eyes, I hope, because I feel it. She’s nice, and I get incredibly lonely. ”I just want to get there as soon as I can. I promised my mom I’d go straight to them. She thinks I’ll be safer that way. I talked to a man named Niki, he recommended I do the same — work on a ship for passage, or work around town to raise the funds.” I purse my lips a bit, and I try to quell the yearning in my chest. "Is there a way to just... reach you? It'd be cool to hang out again."
cause we waited years and years
just to make it worth the tears
to find out that we're not in this alone
so keep your head up high in these hours of the night
so when atlas drops the world on your shoulders, you still won't fall
