JUDE
the light of dawn is coming
Jude wasn’t blessed with that skill either. In contrast, he is far better at keeping his head down and moving silently through the world. Pretending he can’t feel the things that hurt in a way that fools himself and the outside world alike. It’s what he does as he combs through the grass, redirecting his thoughts every time they wander back toward the woman at his side.
It’s not easy when he has to face her, speak with her. Harder still when she asks him something that draws him back immediately to those sun-soaked, happy days. If she expects hurt she would be right but it lingers like a shadow beneath something far more hollow and wanting. Jude knows his answer immediately but pauses to formulate it in a way that doesn’t feel like giving her his heart for the masochistic fun of letting her crush it again. As if he holds any power anymore. “All the time.” He’d give anything for it honestly. Partly to just be happy again and partly to have not only his dad but her. As his friend, as more. It was the only time he hadn’t been lonely, had felt loved and surrounded and not invisible.
Feeling too open to what will surely be a pitying expression, Jude turns his chin sideways and down as if he’s going back to idly searching the grass. “Do you?” Or had she grown when he hadn’t? Taken more from the ashes while he was still sitting amidst the wreckage even now?
It’s not easy when he has to face her, speak with her. Harder still when she asks him something that draws him back immediately to those sun-soaked, happy days. If she expects hurt she would be right but it lingers like a shadow beneath something far more hollow and wanting. Jude knows his answer immediately but pauses to formulate it in a way that doesn’t feel like giving her his heart for the masochistic fun of letting her crush it again. As if he holds any power anymore. “All the time.” He’d give anything for it honestly. Partly to just be happy again and partly to have not only his dad but her. As his friend, as more. It was the only time he hadn’t been lonely, had felt loved and surrounded and not invisible.
Feeling too open to what will surely be a pitying expression, Jude turns his chin sideways and down as if he’s going back to idly searching the grass. “Do you?” Or had she grown when he hadn’t? Taken more from the ashes while he was still sitting amidst the wreckage even now?
ready to return everything the darkness stole
