Koa
For most of his life, Koa has not thought particularly hard about his choices. His path had been set from an early age, straightforward and signposted, an easy road to traipse along. When faced with an obstacle he'd let the vibes carry him, and even when led astray had never wound up particularly far from where he'd meant to be. Being a soldier had reinforced this further: why bother with critical thinking, when there was always someone to do it for you, a ranking officer ready to step in and steer you on your course? Some might call it laziness, even cowardice, but Koa preferred to think of it as just being chill, man.
Except that somewhere along the line, things had taken a turn for the decidedly not chill. Now Koa's trapped in a scalding desert, full of painful, difficult choices, and with no skill in determining which one is best. He can hear his cousin's voice in his ear, whispering and insidious (two things that, to Kaisel's credit, the boy has never actually been). You still matter and Go get her rattle around his empty head until he thinks he might explode. He wants to reach out and use his thumb to wipe the moisture pooling in her tear ducts; he wants to pull her into him, to hold her until the weight she carries so goddamn stubbornly ebbs away. Koa has always been a sucker for a damsel, and Flora is nothing if not in distress.
He knows he won't survive it if he reaches for her, but gods does he want to touch the sun.
Instead he tightens his grip on the notebook, swallowing back that terrible urge. "I heard a little." His steadiness is just as feigned as Flora, a forced lightness that rings hollow, even to him. He pushes the letter back between its pages, suddenly unable to look at it, to bear the thought of Sohalia's certainty that he is a better man. Glancing back at Flora without any eye contact, he shoves his mouth into a half smile. "I guess this means your big plan worked?" And you didn't need my help at all. She'd never really needed him- that much had been made quite clear when she'd chosen someone else.
"Any response from the Family yet? Besides the broadcast." They'd all heard that.
Except that somewhere along the line, things had taken a turn for the decidedly not chill. Now Koa's trapped in a scalding desert, full of painful, difficult choices, and with no skill in determining which one is best. He can hear his cousin's voice in his ear, whispering and insidious (two things that, to Kaisel's credit, the boy has never actually been). You still matter and Go get her rattle around his empty head until he thinks he might explode. He wants to reach out and use his thumb to wipe the moisture pooling in her tear ducts; he wants to pull her into him, to hold her until the weight she carries so goddamn stubbornly ebbs away. Koa has always been a sucker for a damsel, and Flora is nothing if not in distress.
He knows he won't survive it if he reaches for her, but gods does he want to touch the sun.
Instead he tightens his grip on the notebook, swallowing back that terrible urge. "I heard a little." His steadiness is just as feigned as Flora, a forced lightness that rings hollow, even to him. He pushes the letter back between its pages, suddenly unable to look at it, to bear the thought of Sohalia's certainty that he is a better man. Glancing back at Flora without any eye contact, he shoves his mouth into a half smile. "I guess this means your big plan worked?" And you didn't need my help at all. She'd never really needed him- that much had been made quite clear when she'd chosen someone else.
"Any response from the Family yet? Besides the broadcast." They'd all heard that.
the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway
is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway
is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway
