Koa
Haulani being safe is a win, one Koa wishes he was in any sort of position to celebrate. It's something akin to an out-of-body experience, this conversation; he feels he is watching a version of himself that he doesn't fully understand, while another one dances in his head, feeling like something he really ought to be. His brows furrow at the mention of cost, and he wants to ask about it, but Kai already told him a little bit - Jack gone, having to move, the loss of the bar and her home. It seems to him like devastation, but he bites his tongue, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.
Which becomes impossible as she devalues herself so utterly that he's left raising his brows, his head shaking before he can think. "You're you," he counters automatically, and there's so much held within the pronoun that it swells with things unsaid. She's a queen, a person, a life with value. And more than that, far more than that, she is Flora. She is fire and sunlight and yes, a bit of a nightmare at times, but those flashes of darkness unapologetically her,, and make the dreams that arise between them so much sweeter by comparison.
Those things shine in Koa's copper eyes as he gazes ardently at the Doubletake, his control briefly fractured. "You put yourself aside to save your people, Flora. And it cost a lot, but you'll recover. You're a queen, remember? A boss ass bitch." He quirks a smile, raising a brow. "You'll come back from this stronger than ever, and anyone who doubts you- well, that's their mistake."
Maybe if he hadn't doubted her all those years ago, they wouldn't be in the position they're in: two ships without a harbor, circling each other in the dark.
Realizing what he's saying, what he's doing, the way his hand has slid across the table to halfway reach for hers, Koa forces himself to recoil, to re-build the wall they've got to maintain. But it's cracked now, missing bricks letting the shape of her through, and it would be so easy to touch her through that gap- or worse, to blast the whole thing down. He wants to clear the slate between them, to be able to treat her with the friendly ease he wears so comfortably when he's at a loss. But he can't, because the slate is not clean between them, and the words I love you and there's someone else can never be pulled back.
So then why does it feel like he's loosing her all over, the ache within him as she moves to leave as sudden and hollow as it was that day? "Wait--" Koa says automatically, then bites his cheek as he realizes he doesn't have a good reason to make her stay. That it's better she go, before they break things further, doing irreparable damage to themselves and the woman they both love. Huffing lightly in his frustration, Koa looks away, his hand running through his hair. "I mean... just, take care of yourself, Flora. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. To let other people carry the weight for you. Not everything has to be a fight." He's not sure if it makes any sense, but it feels like the safest version of what he wants to say.
Which becomes impossible as she devalues herself so utterly that he's left raising his brows, his head shaking before he can think. "You're you," he counters automatically, and there's so much held within the pronoun that it swells with things unsaid. She's a queen, a person, a life with value. And more than that, far more than that, she is Flora. She is fire and sunlight and yes, a bit of a nightmare at times, but those flashes of darkness unapologetically her,, and make the dreams that arise between them so much sweeter by comparison.
Those things shine in Koa's copper eyes as he gazes ardently at the Doubletake, his control briefly fractured. "You put yourself aside to save your people, Flora. And it cost a lot, but you'll recover. You're a queen, remember? A boss ass bitch." He quirks a smile, raising a brow. "You'll come back from this stronger than ever, and anyone who doubts you- well, that's their mistake."
Maybe if he hadn't doubted her all those years ago, they wouldn't be in the position they're in: two ships without a harbor, circling each other in the dark.
Realizing what he's saying, what he's doing, the way his hand has slid across the table to halfway reach for hers, Koa forces himself to recoil, to re-build the wall they've got to maintain. But it's cracked now, missing bricks letting the shape of her through, and it would be so easy to touch her through that gap- or worse, to blast the whole thing down. He wants to clear the slate between them, to be able to treat her with the friendly ease he wears so comfortably when he's at a loss. But he can't, because the slate is not clean between them, and the words I love you and there's someone else can never be pulled back.
So then why does it feel like he's loosing her all over, the ache within him as she moves to leave as sudden and hollow as it was that day? "Wait--" Koa says automatically, then bites his cheek as he realizes he doesn't have a good reason to make her stay. That it's better she go, before they break things further, doing irreparable damage to themselves and the woman they both love. Huffing lightly in his frustration, Koa looks away, his hand running through his hair. "I mean... just, take care of yourself, Flora. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. To let other people carry the weight for you. Not everything has to be a fight." He's not sure if it makes any sense, but it feels like the safest version of what he wants to say.
the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway
is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway
is that it's you, and that you're standing in the doorway
