Koa
In a remarkable, undeserved turn of events, Sohalia does not flinch away. She could, though, and she wouldn't fault her - he wants to recoil from himself, to shrink from the unhinged, unraveling collection of emotions in a disintegrating skin suit that he's turning into against his will. But Sohalia stays, and holds his hand, and tells him it will be okay. She's so forgiving, so infinitely kind, that it threatens to break his heart, each word a shot from Artemis' quiver, lancing the disgusting boil of trauma he's spent so long trying desperately to ignore.
"No," he says, shaking is head once more - not to anything in particular, just a general rebellion against the fucked-up vibe. "No, it's not okay, it's---" But again he cannot find the wording, because how is he supposed to tell her everything he feels? That he's a coward who doesn't know if he can do this, not with the specter of Flora constantly in the sidelines, not with the unceasing rain of hurt that they've unwittingly rained on him again and again? He cannot even bring himself to be mad at her, to blame her. They'd all fucked up so many times, and Koa wants so badly to put it behind them, to make this fresh start exactly that: fresh and clean and new and beautiful and full of the magic and love she deserves.
Is he crying? No, not quite, but when he rubs his arm against his eyes, the sleeve comes away damp. "I don't know if I can do this, Soh." Koa murmurs, staring down at that dark patch on his shirt as though it alone is responsible for everything that's currently going wrong. "I wanted to, I really wanted to, and I had all these plans on where I'd take you, what I'd say, but then..." Then he'd been flipped over onto has back and left to flail like a disheveled turtle, unable to regain equilibrium no matter how hard he tried.
"No," he says, shaking is head once more - not to anything in particular, just a general rebellion against the fucked-up vibe. "No, it's not okay, it's---" But again he cannot find the wording, because how is he supposed to tell her everything he feels? That he's a coward who doesn't know if he can do this, not with the specter of Flora constantly in the sidelines, not with the unceasing rain of hurt that they've unwittingly rained on him again and again? He cannot even bring himself to be mad at her, to blame her. They'd all fucked up so many times, and Koa wants so badly to put it behind them, to make this fresh start exactly that: fresh and clean and new and beautiful and full of the magic and love she deserves.
Is he crying? No, not quite, but when he rubs his arm against his eyes, the sleeve comes away damp. "I don't know if I can do this, Soh." Koa murmurs, staring down at that dark patch on his shirt as though it alone is responsible for everything that's currently going wrong. "I wanted to, I really wanted to, and I had all these plans on where I'd take you, what I'd say, but then..." Then he'd been flipped over onto has back and left to flail like a disheveled turtle, unable to regain equilibrium no matter how hard he tried.
then you come crashing in, like the realest thing
