Maea
And I never know what to say
'Til I'm already walking away
Her mind went utterly blank. So convinced that she would be ignored or brushed off was she that his question bounced around her head like a flipper ball. What, indeed? What could she ask that he could answer? How to change was something only she could answer. What made a good ancient was so irrelevant, it was laughable. Questions of ethics and morality weren't the thing you answered when you could barely stand looking at someone, and it wasn't actually what she wanted answered, either. Looking at Danta now, here in the middle of nowhere, it wasn't his reasons or comparisons or personal beliefs that she craved, but something much simpler and altogether more difficult.
"That - I - " Stammering, she had to pause and try again, digging for courage, for honesty, for strength enough to bear the response whatever it would be. "how... can I apologize - to Asta, and you - in a way that you would believe?" Ah, damn, her hands were shaking so bad. "I realize... I've said 'sorry' so many times it probably doesn't mean anything anymore. So if there's anything I can do... What would you need from me?" Not to forgive. Not to accept her back into their lives, or even stop being angry, or - or anything like that. Just to believe her, and know that she meant it when she said she was trying to - willing to - change. To be a better, kinder, more open-minded person - all the things she thought she was, before Asta showed her the truth of that delusion.
"That - I - " Stammering, she had to pause and try again, digging for courage, for honesty, for strength enough to bear the response whatever it would be. "how... can I apologize - to Asta, and you - in a way that you would believe?" Ah, damn, her hands were shaking so bad. "I realize... I've said 'sorry' so many times it probably doesn't mean anything anymore. So if there's anything I can do... What would you need from me?" Not to forgive. Not to accept her back into their lives, or even stop being angry, or - or anything like that. Just to believe her, and know that she meant it when she said she was trying to - willing to - change. To be a better, kinder, more open-minded person - all the things she thought she was, before Asta showed her the truth of that delusion.
Wanna punch you in the face
But I won't, but I might, but I won't
