EVEREST
Ever stilled, the rim of his glass just below his mouth, though he didn’t drink. Mateo’s question landed with quiet precision—neither invasive nor rushed, just neatly placed. Like a compass needle finally allowed to settle.
His gaze slid to the corner of the room, to the half-shadowed shelf where his books were aligned by height and topic. " don’t know," he said, honest and soft. "I think... I want to want to." His thumb rubbed against the glass again, slow and steady. "But I don’t know if I can give her what she deserves. I think what you've allowed me to be is the closest to who I actually am, whereas with the infection.." The aviator pauses, frowning. "I was more. More than I know I can be, even now." There wasn’t bitterness in it—just recognition, maybe even a touch of regret. For all the things he was now capable of, he certainly wasn't the sort of man to go on a sex-sebatacle to try and please someone. "I don’t want to hurt her again by not being enough. Not in the way she needs."
Ever finally looked back at Mateo, steady but uncertain. "But I’m also tired of measuring the potential damage of every decision like it’s some kind of crash report." There was a small, ironic twitch at the corner of his mouth."Maybe I should just try."
His gaze slid to the corner of the room, to the half-shadowed shelf where his books were aligned by height and topic. " don’t know," he said, honest and soft. "I think... I want to want to." His thumb rubbed against the glass again, slow and steady. "But I don’t know if I can give her what she deserves. I think what you've allowed me to be is the closest to who I actually am, whereas with the infection.." The aviator pauses, frowning. "I was more. More than I know I can be, even now." There wasn’t bitterness in it—just recognition, maybe even a touch of regret. For all the things he was now capable of, he certainly wasn't the sort of man to go on a sex-sebatacle to try and please someone. "I don’t want to hurt her again by not being enough. Not in the way she needs."
Ever finally looked back at Mateo, steady but uncertain. "But I’m also tired of measuring the potential damage of every decision like it’s some kind of crash report." There was a small, ironic twitch at the corner of his mouth."Maybe I should just try."
Oh I'm just a house of stones
Somebody hold me steady
Somebody hold me steady
Code stolen from Queen Sky
