SUNJATA
look who's digging their own grave
this is what they all say; you'll drink yourself to death
this is what they all say; you'll drink yourself to death
He almost asks her why she is still holding on just as tight if she already knows the results, but he doesn’t. He lets her decide how much she wants to share as he gets comfortable, finding that rock to prop himself up onto, arms folding around one of his knees as she slumps down and sits and he watches her for a few moments as she explains exactly all of the things he’d been terrified about once upon a time.
“Yeah.” He says quietly, looking away from her as he considers how best to put what he wants to say. He’d always been terrible with words, but he hopes maybe she’d be able to read between the lines if she did really want to change. “I was afraid for a long time to lose people. You know that. I didn’t hardly make it after Nate fell in the war.” He offers it up, easier now because it’s been years and while the wound is still there – hell, he still wears their wedding ring, and would continue to even after his eventual marriage to Hotaru. “But you can’t change people, either.” The tone of his voice is just tired, his head angling back toward her where she sits in the grass, a lifetime away from one of their last arguments.
“You tried to change me once. Didn’t work. Then you died which really was a cherry on top after Luci. Thought I was cursed.” Luci, Maea, Nate.. The list goes on and each time he fractured more and more under the weight of it. “Fucked me up so much that I had a daughter with Safrin just to try and prevent him dying in the war.” Of course, that was before he’d gone and betrayed Safrin. But his broad, tattooed shoulders shrug and he exhales a puff of air, lacking the smoke that he silently wishes he had. Perhaps Maea might remember the wariness he had with the idea of being a father, of becoming just like his own because he couldn't trust himself then to be a good person.
“I’m not the same person I was when I arrived. I had to adapt and go with the flow because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t still be here.” If he let the fears of becoming his father overwhelm him from taking leadership roles, or becoming a father, he doesn’t know what he’d do. But he’d become one of the strongest amongst them here in Caido, chosen by Frey, given opportunity to indulge in who he is without remorse, and he can’t afford to revert back to how he was. “Change is scary, y’know? But you have to do it yourself. We all do. Nobody gets to do it for you.”
“Yeah.” He says quietly, looking away from her as he considers how best to put what he wants to say. He’d always been terrible with words, but he hopes maybe she’d be able to read between the lines if she did really want to change. “I was afraid for a long time to lose people. You know that. I didn’t hardly make it after Nate fell in the war.” He offers it up, easier now because it’s been years and while the wound is still there – hell, he still wears their wedding ring, and would continue to even after his eventual marriage to Hotaru. “But you can’t change people, either.” The tone of his voice is just tired, his head angling back toward her where she sits in the grass, a lifetime away from one of their last arguments.
“You tried to change me once. Didn’t work. Then you died which really was a cherry on top after Luci. Thought I was cursed.” Luci, Maea, Nate.. The list goes on and each time he fractured more and more under the weight of it. “Fucked me up so much that I had a daughter with Safrin just to try and prevent him dying in the war.” Of course, that was before he’d gone and betrayed Safrin. But his broad, tattooed shoulders shrug and he exhales a puff of air, lacking the smoke that he silently wishes he had. Perhaps Maea might remember the wariness he had with the idea of being a father, of becoming just like his own because he couldn't trust himself then to be a good person.
“I’m not the same person I was when I arrived. I had to adapt and go with the flow because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t still be here.” If he let the fears of becoming his father overwhelm him from taking leadership roles, or becoming a father, he doesn’t know what he’d do. But he’d become one of the strongest amongst them here in Caido, chosen by Frey, given opportunity to indulge in who he is without remorse, and he can’t afford to revert back to how he was. “Change is scary, y’know? But you have to do it yourself. We all do. Nobody gets to do it for you.”
look who makes their own bed, lies right down within it
and what will you have left?
and what will you have left?
Feel free to use magic/force on Sunjata, without killing him <3
Sunjata speaks with an Australian accent and has a passive magic that makes him produce a subtle scent that matches exactly to whatever those around him most desire him to smell like.
