Maea
Stars, hide your fires
You could practically see the cogs turning in her head as Maea processed these tidbits of information. Gods knew she had prayed for the ability to simply accept things for what they were and not think so damn much – but as Sunjata just pointed out, that simply wasn't her. Wired differently, it was entirely in her nature to ask questions and ponder the deep meanings of people, the gods, the world and herself, as internal in her approach to being as he was external. Nothing intrigued her so much as the question of why, and maybe... maybe that was alright, after all. It wasn't to say that she shouldn't work on relaxing and 'going with the flow', as it were, because there was much peace to find in that - but there was really no reason why she had to live on in ignorance when the answers were a question away.
"Mmn. I'll ask her." Drawing in a deep breath, Maea held it until spots danced before her eyes. Rubbing hard at them with the butt of her palms, then scratching her scalp until the hair was a tangled mess to be raked away from her face, she eventually let out the frustration in a rusty laugh. "Gods, it's so dumb. So much wasted energy – and for what? They don't care anyway." It hurt to admit. Asta's face, and Danta's, and Thalassa too flashed across her vision - all people she'd been trying to change for, been upset about, wrestled with and tried to make peace with... only for it to go up in flames. Why was she agonising over them when it didn't matter either way? Anger replaced the pain, blazing white-hot through her senses for a second - and when it burned itself out, she fell back into the grass with a strangely empty feeling. Like an abcess had been drained, and pain finally ebbed from memory. It felt... good. Liberating. And as a thought struck her, she peered up at Sunjata with laughter glittering in her eyes.
"Hey. Look at that. I listened to you, for once. Didn't argue a single time. You think the world will end tomorrow?"
"Mmn. I'll ask her." Drawing in a deep breath, Maea held it until spots danced before her eyes. Rubbing hard at them with the butt of her palms, then scratching her scalp until the hair was a tangled mess to be raked away from her face, she eventually let out the frustration in a rusty laugh. "Gods, it's so dumb. So much wasted energy – and for what? They don't care anyway." It hurt to admit. Asta's face, and Danta's, and Thalassa too flashed across her vision - all people she'd been trying to change for, been upset about, wrestled with and tried to make peace with... only for it to go up in flames. Why was she agonising over them when it didn't matter either way? Anger replaced the pain, blazing white-hot through her senses for a second - and when it burned itself out, she fell back into the grass with a strangely empty feeling. Like an abcess had been drained, and pain finally ebbed from memory. It felt... good. Liberating. And as a thought struck her, she peered up at Sunjata with laughter glittering in her eyes.
"Hey. Look at that. I listened to you, for once. Didn't argue a single time. You think the world will end tomorrow?"
Let not light see my black and deep desires
