It had been long enough that the shame and horror weren't quite as fresh, at least, and speaking to Mort and Sah had helped. And Alys... Alys had been a lighthouse in his darkest hours, in the days following the murder and all the months since. But that didn't mean he could just pretend that everything was fine, or that murdering an innocent person - even on accident - was something he could just move past.
Still, Zavien's gentle forgiveness and support still mattered. Maybe he'd heard it all before, but every time it came from someone else it got a little easier to believe.
It took an effort of will, but just knowing that his friend wasn't rejecting him for what he'd done gave him the strength to force some of his tense muscles to relax a little. To unclench his hands beneath the water and draw in a breath that didn't hitch with guilt. He nodded obediently as the Dragoon did his best to comfort him, though he ended up grimacing at the end, hitching one shoulder up in a shrug. "Dunno about that. Th'poison on my Dagger... it's pretty awful stuff. If I'd used somethin' else... anythin' else... she might not've died from it. But... I get what you're tryin' t'say. Even Mort..." He swallowed hard and then forced himself to take another deep breath. "Well. Yeah. I just... thanks, Zav. For understandin'." Finally he was able to make himself turn his head to look at his friend, trying to summon a weak and watery ghost of a smile. "You're a good friend."
Still, Zavien's gentle forgiveness and support still mattered. Maybe he'd heard it all before, but every time it came from someone else it got a little easier to believe.
It took an effort of will, but just knowing that his friend wasn't rejecting him for what he'd done gave him the strength to force some of his tense muscles to relax a little. To unclench his hands beneath the water and draw in a breath that didn't hitch with guilt. He nodded obediently as the Dragoon did his best to comfort him, though he ended up grimacing at the end, hitching one shoulder up in a shrug. "Dunno about that. Th'poison on my Dagger... it's pretty awful stuff. If I'd used somethin' else... anythin' else... she might not've died from it. But... I get what you're tryin' t'say. Even Mort..." He swallowed hard and then forced himself to take another deep breath. "Well. Yeah. I just... thanks, Zav. For understandin'." Finally he was able to make himself turn his head to look at his friend, trying to summon a weak and watery ghost of a smile. "You're a good friend."
