the darkness falls around me at night
I nod—not in some naive, hollow agreement, but because that part, at least, I understand.
Not the pain. I couldn’t begin to pretend I understand what Deimos has endured. I see it in the way he carries himself—in the way he doesn’t flinch at blood or flame or weight, even when it drags at the corners of his expression. That kind of strength, the kind carved out of ruin and rebuilt again and again, that’s not something I’ve lived. Not yet.
But I understand the choice. Who you fight for.
I want to fight for my mom, for my dad. And for the family I've only just barely met. For the people I’ve found along the way who didn’t owe me anything but gave me kindness anyway—Niki and Elizabeth come to mind. For myself, even. Though sometimes that one’s harder to justify.
The wind cuts through the trees, brushing snow across the trampled ground, and I watch it for a second before I speak again.
"I want to help with things like the… the gardening one day." I lift an eyebrow slightly at him—dry humor tucked in the corner of the phrase. "And the infectious nightmare is that’s creeping over everything, you know? I want to help."
I shift my weight, flexing the arm that had been healed from the luxere’s antler.
"But right now, I can barely hold my ground against a corrupted deer." I let out a breath, not self-pitying, just honest. "I know that strength isn’t everything. But I don’t want to be a step behind forever. I don’t want to be the one someone else always has to protect. I want to be someone people can trust to stand with them. Not behind them."
Not the pain. I couldn’t begin to pretend I understand what Deimos has endured. I see it in the way he carries himself—in the way he doesn’t flinch at blood or flame or weight, even when it drags at the corners of his expression. That kind of strength, the kind carved out of ruin and rebuilt again and again, that’s not something I’ve lived. Not yet.
But I understand the choice. Who you fight for.
I want to fight for my mom, for my dad. And for the family I've only just barely met. For the people I’ve found along the way who didn’t owe me anything but gave me kindness anyway—Niki and Elizabeth come to mind. For myself, even. Though sometimes that one’s harder to justify.
The wind cuts through the trees, brushing snow across the trampled ground, and I watch it for a second before I speak again.
"I want to help with things like the… the gardening one day." I lift an eyebrow slightly at him—dry humor tucked in the corner of the phrase. "And the infectious nightmare is that’s creeping over everything, you know? I want to help."
I shift my weight, flexing the arm that had been healed from the luxere’s antler.
"But right now, I can barely hold my ground against a corrupted deer." I let out a breath, not self-pitying, just honest. "I know that strength isn’t everything. But I don’t want to be a step behind forever. I don’t want to be the one someone else always has to protect. I want to be someone people can trust to stand with them. Not behind them."
Theea
and covers me in silence so bright
