Draw the cat eye, sharp enough to kill a man
You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them
You did some bad things, but I'm the worst of them
Noe could still hear Vox’s unearthly screech echoing through her skull. It had been horrendous and heartbreaking all at the same time; the piece of her that had been a Friend of the Family longed to fix it even as she was cured, leaving her biting back bile at the thought that she sympathized with a monster.
What did that make her?
Kaisel wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders, offering reassurance that did little to make Noe feel better. She glanced up at him, a lump in her throat. How was she supposed to tell her cousin that nothing was okay? That everything was a mess, perhaps her worst of all? That she might be out, but she wasn’t through, and that made all the difference? But that felt like a lot to try to even begin to parse through, so she nodded dumbly instead.
And then there was Koa: strong, steadfast, and, in this moment, utterly devastated. If she looked at him, she’d cry. She’d sob for all that she’d said and done, because where Koa was everything that was good and right with the world, Noe was… not. She was broken. Tainted. And she wanted to be angry, or upset, or something - anything but this yawning nothingness that threatened to swallow her whole.
She wanted to laugh at the concept that they could go somewhere safe. Didn’t they know that there was nowhere they could go that the Family wouldn’t find them? Hadn’t they heard Vox’s anguished threats? Biting the inside of her cheek to quell the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble up, she forced herself to look up at her big brother, who was watching her with such care and concern.
Care and concern that she didn’t deserve.
She wasn’t really aware of the trip through Haulani, didn’t really pay attention to the apartment that they entered. And instead of plopping down on Sohalia’s pretty couch or settling into one of the armchairs or anything else to make herself comfortable, she instead meandered over to the windows, where she could look out over the waves, watch them crash over the sand and wash away anything that didn’t belong.
She wished there was something that could wash her away, too.
What did that make her?
Kaisel wrapped a gentle arm around her shoulders, offering reassurance that did little to make Noe feel better. She glanced up at him, a lump in her throat. How was she supposed to tell her cousin that nothing was okay? That everything was a mess, perhaps her worst of all? That she might be out, but she wasn’t through, and that made all the difference? But that felt like a lot to try to even begin to parse through, so she nodded dumbly instead.
And then there was Koa: strong, steadfast, and, in this moment, utterly devastated. If she looked at him, she’d cry. She’d sob for all that she’d said and done, because where Koa was everything that was good and right with the world, Noe was… not. She was broken. Tainted. And she wanted to be angry, or upset, or something - anything but this yawning nothingness that threatened to swallow her whole.
She wanted to laugh at the concept that they could go somewhere safe. Didn’t they know that there was nowhere they could go that the Family wouldn’t find them? Hadn’t they heard Vox’s anguished threats? Biting the inside of her cheek to quell the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble up, she forced herself to look up at her big brother, who was watching her with such care and concern.
Care and concern that she didn’t deserve.
She wasn’t really aware of the trip through Haulani, didn’t really pay attention to the apartment that they entered. And instead of plopping down on Sohalia’s pretty couch or settling into one of the armchairs or anything else to make herself comfortable, she instead meandered over to the windows, where she could look out over the waves, watch them crash over the sand and wash away anything that didn’t belong.
She wished there was something that could wash her away, too.
Sometimes I wonder which one will be your last lie
They say looks can kill and I might try
They say looks can kill and I might try
Noe
