where I save you and you save me
Deimos’ family was his solace, and to have it so easily threatened unwound him in place he didn’t frequently visit. Even now, that weight punctured and pierced through his chest hours later, all the coldness and stoicism wearing away to the abject fear that for all he’d done, it might not matter – he could lose them just the same. So he turned his gaze to Erebos as the child fussed and tried to claw back at his mother, with mocking, playful little growls he probably gained from listening to any of their companions.
But then she turned her attention to everything, and he waited, fingers pressing and mussing with his son’s hair to keep him grounded, keep him tethered, keep him from retreating back into all those fortresses he’d carefully maintained. But he leaned into her too, because he couldn’t with anyone else, and the finality of her words meant multitudes.
Even then though, the might of it all was exhausting. And he could lie; he could encase himself right back into those icy barricades and wear away at all the seams, as if they’d never been there – the perfect shell of masks and nothingness. But it wouldn’t matter to pretend, not with Evie, nor had they built their foundations upon pretenses and falsehoods. He could admit it here, in the quiet of their library, in the threshold of their livelihoods. “I am tired and overwhelmed.” There was always something; an endless barrage. “I think I will feel better once we have the barrier in place.” His eyes flickered back to her, a long sigh fading through the den. “But there is no rest.” Even now, there was sure to be something haunting his dreams.
But then she turned her attention to everything, and he waited, fingers pressing and mussing with his son’s hair to keep him grounded, keep him tethered, keep him from retreating back into all those fortresses he’d carefully maintained. But he leaned into her too, because he couldn’t with anyone else, and the finality of her words meant multitudes.
Even then though, the might of it all was exhausting. And he could lie; he could encase himself right back into those icy barricades and wear away at all the seams, as if they’d never been there – the perfect shell of masks and nothingness. But it wouldn’t matter to pretend, not with Evie, nor had they built their foundations upon pretenses and falsehoods. He could admit it here, in the quiet of their library, in the threshold of their livelihoods. “I am tired and overwhelmed.” There was always something; an endless barrage. “I think I will feel better once we have the barrier in place.” His eyes flickered back to her, a long sigh fading through the den. “But there is no rest.” Even now, there was sure to be something haunting his dreams.
Deimos
and we save each other over and over, a hundred times, endlessly
