funny how true colours shine in darkness and secrecy

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

He breathes out slowly, but it feels more like a sigh caught between relief and something heavier -maybe regret. Flora's words settle over him like a fog, beautiful and painful, and suddenly the glade feels too small for all the things he can't say. He tightens his grip on her hand for a moment, like holding on will keep the shared dream of summer romance and bakeries and sly looks from slipping away, back into the shadowed world of things that will never be.

"I see it too - the life we never had," Koa murmurs, voice rough with everything he's trying not to let break loose. "Every time I look at you, I catch a glimpse of it." His gaze drops to the grass, then back up, flickering with sadness and regret. "Maybe that's always been our problem. What we were- what we could have been- it was always based more on dreams than real life, wasn't it?"

And Sohalia? What he'd had with Sohalia had always been real. Messy and confusing and difficult, yes, but based on the things that were said and experienced rather than a potential painted by infatuation and youth. And maybe that's what scares him most about it, what makes it so hard to choose the Luminary, even as she stands before him with heart and love outstretched.

Sighing again, Koa rubs his thumb gently across the knuckles of Flora's hand."I'm not saying I want to try again. I know you're right. Even if things were different - even if you still felt the same - I know we can’t. Neither of us could do that to Soh." His eyes meet hers, raw and searching. "I want to do right by her. I do. I- gods, Flora, she's so good, and she deserves someone who will love her the right way. Who can give her everything she'll give back, and then some." Someone who isn't still half-trapped in the impressionist painting of a summer love.

He swallows, glancing down at their entwined fingers before meeting her gaze again, copper searching aqua. "You deserve that too, Flora. To be loved completely, for exactly who you are and what you want to be, without feeling like you're under a microscope or having to hide away parts of yourself. And I'm so, so sorry that Jack was such a fucking asshole and made you feel like you weren't enough." He squeezes tightly, a half-smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. "And if you want me to beat the shit out of him, just say the word. Seriously. Please. It'd make me feel a helluva lot better, honestly."

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat