I'm not giving up, kicking off the rust
Kaisel's a bit breathless after the word vomit he just heaved up, and the saliva that gathering in his mouth suggests the normal type is also threatening to make an appearance. He swallows, bracing for the explosion that's sure to come, practically squinting against the anticipated blast that'll throw light, heat, and debris at his face in a curtain of disapproving shouts. The trigger for it is right there, in every mismatched and moving line of Koa's face, the understanding moving like a current through him, pulling each bit of muscle along with the flow as it sinks in.
He does not expect the flat out refusal, or the humor that hums along behind it, like he'd done nothing more than drop a punny joke. It takes him so off guard he can only stare back, blinking, mouth slowly coming ajar as if he means to speak, he just can't find the means to. Is this better, having Koa just deny it? He did the hard part, he said it, it's not his fault if Koa can't accept it. Maybe he'll fire off a yes I am! via letter once he's safely returned home to King's End. He just might have too, done nothing more than nervously chuckle and get back to stitching together a cloak like it's an ordinary day, except Koa doesn't stop there. He lays on the guilt, and damn is it a scratchy, prickly bitch of a blanket to get wrapped in. All wool or something.
"It's not a vacation," he finally manages to clarify, quieter than he'd like. "It's a... it's... I dunno, it's a way to work on myself, I guess." Case in point, he can't even be here for a day without being taken seriously by any of his family. They offer reassurances in the same sentence where they re-route his plans, each word slick with disbelief and disagreement. He'll never stop being just a kid to them until he actually goes and does something on his own. "I mean I'll help you here, when I can. I still care about everyone here and this place, but I can't be here right now Koa. I fucked up too many things recently and I need some time to sort them all out, without everyone trying to coddle me through it."
He does not expect the flat out refusal, or the humor that hums along behind it, like he'd done nothing more than drop a punny joke. It takes him so off guard he can only stare back, blinking, mouth slowly coming ajar as if he means to speak, he just can't find the means to. Is this better, having Koa just deny it? He did the hard part, he said it, it's not his fault if Koa can't accept it. Maybe he'll fire off a yes I am! via letter once he's safely returned home to King's End. He just might have too, done nothing more than nervously chuckle and get back to stitching together a cloak like it's an ordinary day, except Koa doesn't stop there. He lays on the guilt, and damn is it a scratchy, prickly bitch of a blanket to get wrapped in. All wool or something.
"It's not a vacation," he finally manages to clarify, quieter than he'd like. "It's a... it's... I dunno, it's a way to work on myself, I guess." Case in point, he can't even be here for a day without being taken seriously by any of his family. They offer reassurances in the same sentence where they re-route his plans, each word slick with disbelief and disagreement. He'll never stop being just a kid to them until he actually goes and does something on his own. "I mean I'll help you here, when I can. I still care about everyone here and this place, but I can't be here right now Koa. I fucked up too many things recently and I need some time to sort them all out, without everyone trying to coddle me through it."
Kaisel
I keep acting tough but maybe I'm not good enough
Wearing a watery blue, faded and stretched-out sparkling hair tie on his left wrist
