Flora
She smiles at his answer, faint and aching, but real nonetheless. The ocean has always been her soft place to land, her breath between storms, and if Kaisel will follow her there—even now—she’ll take it. She feels the distance too, not just in the stretch of their arms or the slow steps they take, but in the shimmerless quiet between each word. A kind of cold that has nothing to do with weather. Something that bloomed between them when things got too sharp, too honest, too fast.
But then he speak, and gods, it’s a song she already knows. Not because she’s heard it before, but because every lyric lives somewhere in her already—woven through her ribs, nestled in her throat, folded into her smile. She can see it all so clearly, the life he offers: pancakes and arguments, cloud-watching and late mornings ruined by love. The obnoxious declarations, the way he’d introduce her as his favourite person in the world to every stranger who so much as asked her name. It’s a kaleidoscope of colour she never knew she’d wanted until she had it, and now—now that it’s here—she aches with how badly she wishes it was simple.
Because Kaisel is a future she could reach out and touch. But Jack is her past, her blood-soaked, storm-tossed, diamond-cut history, and letting that go isn’t just grief—it’s erasure. There’s too much between her and Jack, too much spilled already, too many promises made and broken and made again. It’s not just that she’s still in love with him. It’s that her soul, the battered, stitched-together thing that it is, still recognises his shape, and more importantly, can't ever forget it.
Flora doesn’t stop until the sand turns wet and hard beneath their feet, the hush of waves curling close enough to taste. Her cardigan slips from her shoulders, catching the wind before tumbling to the sand, her shoes kicked aside like she might outrun the weight of them. And then she turns, tries to pull Kaisel down beside her with hands that are suddenly unsure if they have the right.
"I want that life with you," she says, softly. It feels like truth gilded in glass. "I’ve pictured it too. You nagging me to get dressed, me pulling you into bed instead. Fighting over pancakes. Laughing until our stomachs hurt." Her voice trembles, but she doesn’t stop, turning to find the amber of his gaze like it might anchor her, might save her from what she has to say next.
"I know I’d be happy with you."
But..
She looks out to the water then, lets her breath ride the salt-soaked breeze. The light is dancing across the surface like stars trying to be waves, and for a moment it calms her—just enough to be able to continue. To make sure he understands why she hasn't reached out to claim all that he's offering.
Floar reaches out to cover his hand in both of hers, cradling his fingers between hers like something sacred. "I love Jack." The words burn on the way out. "And the way I love...it doesn't give up. I don’t let go. When I give my heart...it stays. Through the ups and the downs, through death even. He and I...we’ve been through everything. And even if it wasn’t good or healthy or right, even if it almost destroyed us both, it’s still... there."
Her eyes close, the salt of the sea and her tears blurring together. "I don’t know if Jack and I are too late this time. If all of this—the change, the trying—it came after too much damage. But I can’t pretend it’s not still inside me." She holds tighter to Kaisel’s hands, grounding herself in his warmth, in the steady strength of him. Her voice softens as she continues, the words edged with a quiet kind of urgency. "If you and I were together, if I choose this—us—I’d not walk away when it gets hard. I won’t fall out of love with you just because things hurt. My love...it roots deep. It stays through every storm. And if I give that to you, you have to understand what it means. That I’ll fight for us. That I won’t let go." And it was because of all of that, that Flora couldn't walk away from Jack with the ease that Kaisel was asking of her.
A breath shivers through her, the ache in her chest too wide to name. "But I need to know I’m not choosing you just because it’s easier. Or safer. Or sweeter." Her gaze rises again, wet and unflinching. "I need to choose you for you. Because you deserve that. And..." Trying to keep the tremble from her voice and opting to look at him with teary eyes rather than releasing his hand to wipe at them, Flora exhales a quiet and broken sob. "..I don't know how to do that right now."
But then he speak, and gods, it’s a song she already knows. Not because she’s heard it before, but because every lyric lives somewhere in her already—woven through her ribs, nestled in her throat, folded into her smile. She can see it all so clearly, the life he offers: pancakes and arguments, cloud-watching and late mornings ruined by love. The obnoxious declarations, the way he’d introduce her as his favourite person in the world to every stranger who so much as asked her name. It’s a kaleidoscope of colour she never knew she’d wanted until she had it, and now—now that it’s here—she aches with how badly she wishes it was simple.
Because Kaisel is a future she could reach out and touch. But Jack is her past, her blood-soaked, storm-tossed, diamond-cut history, and letting that go isn’t just grief—it’s erasure. There’s too much between her and Jack, too much spilled already, too many promises made and broken and made again. It’s not just that she’s still in love with him. It’s that her soul, the battered, stitched-together thing that it is, still recognises his shape, and more importantly, can't ever forget it.
Flora doesn’t stop until the sand turns wet and hard beneath their feet, the hush of waves curling close enough to taste. Her cardigan slips from her shoulders, catching the wind before tumbling to the sand, her shoes kicked aside like she might outrun the weight of them. And then she turns, tries to pull Kaisel down beside her with hands that are suddenly unsure if they have the right.
"I want that life with you," she says, softly. It feels like truth gilded in glass. "I’ve pictured it too. You nagging me to get dressed, me pulling you into bed instead. Fighting over pancakes. Laughing until our stomachs hurt." Her voice trembles, but she doesn’t stop, turning to find the amber of his gaze like it might anchor her, might save her from what she has to say next.
"I know I’d be happy with you."
But..
She looks out to the water then, lets her breath ride the salt-soaked breeze. The light is dancing across the surface like stars trying to be waves, and for a moment it calms her—just enough to be able to continue. To make sure he understands why she hasn't reached out to claim all that he's offering.
Floar reaches out to cover his hand in both of hers, cradling his fingers between hers like something sacred. "I love Jack." The words burn on the way out. "And the way I love...it doesn't give up. I don’t let go. When I give my heart...it stays. Through the ups and the downs, through death even. He and I...we’ve been through everything. And even if it wasn’t good or healthy or right, even if it almost destroyed us both, it’s still... there."
Her eyes close, the salt of the sea and her tears blurring together. "I don’t know if Jack and I are too late this time. If all of this—the change, the trying—it came after too much damage. But I can’t pretend it’s not still inside me." She holds tighter to Kaisel’s hands, grounding herself in his warmth, in the steady strength of him. Her voice softens as she continues, the words edged with a quiet kind of urgency. "If you and I were together, if I choose this—us—I’d not walk away when it gets hard. I won’t fall out of love with you just because things hurt. My love...it roots deep. It stays through every storm. And if I give that to you, you have to understand what it means. That I’ll fight for us. That I won’t let go." And it was because of all of that, that Flora couldn't walk away from Jack with the ease that Kaisel was asking of her.
A breath shivers through her, the ache in her chest too wide to name. "But I need to know I’m not choosing you just because it’s easier. Or safer. Or sweeter." Her gaze rises again, wet and unflinching. "I need to choose you for you. Because you deserve that. And..." Trying to keep the tremble from her voice and opting to look at him with teary eyes rather than releasing his hand to wipe at them, Flora exhales a quiet and broken sob. "..I don't know how to do that right now."
I hope you're sweating the bigger stuff,
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
Code stolen from Queen Sky
