Honey wherever you go, I know
It's absurd, that she can't seem to hear what she's saying, that she's weighing a fight against joy. Kaisel loves fighting as much as the next man, but he can't imagine a world where he'd choose that over the joy of colors remembered, especially not in love.
The hurt of it all has started to become normalized, like a wound that's subsided to just an ache alongside each hum of his pulse, numbing gradually. Or maybe that's just the inevitability of bleeding out, it starts to hurt less the closer you get to the end. Supposedly freezing to death makes you happy—maybe that's why the ice mage has such a grip.
"When will it be the last chance?" he wonders aloud, not unkind with it, but honest. "Because if you thought the last one was it...and now there's this one, who's the stop another from cropping up?" Which definitely implies that he thinks there will be another reason for her to need a chance from him. Could even say he's begging the spirits for it in the back of his mind.
What he really means is, will it always be Jack? Will she always pick past over future?
Although, perhaps for the first time, it's sounding like she is torn and not just tearing him with the news. He's so fucking scared to hope again though, because he could build resolve for ruin and find a life that way, but to give him hope, there's no greater cruelty.
"Don't pick now, then," he offers softly, watching all the cracks that she's bearing and wishing he could be strong enough to close them up by telling her to go, to pick Jack then and try, and that he'd still be here when it failed. He's not quite that sweet though, not so selfless as to manage it. There'd be no one else he'd find if she left, but he'd be changed for it, and he might not have anything left to give her even if she eventually came back. "Give it time, to untangle." He could wait for that, and stay whole enough.
He sighs, like he already knows she'll refuse it. "You're always on the move. Try standing still, with this, and see what emerges."
The hurt of it all has started to become normalized, like a wound that's subsided to just an ache alongside each hum of his pulse, numbing gradually. Or maybe that's just the inevitability of bleeding out, it starts to hurt less the closer you get to the end. Supposedly freezing to death makes you happy—maybe that's why the ice mage has such a grip.
"When will it be the last chance?" he wonders aloud, not unkind with it, but honest. "Because if you thought the last one was it...and now there's this one, who's the stop another from cropping up?" Which definitely implies that he thinks there will be another reason for her to need a chance from him. Could even say he's begging the spirits for it in the back of his mind.
What he really means is, will it always be Jack? Will she always pick past over future?
Although, perhaps for the first time, it's sounding like she is torn and not just tearing him with the news. He's so fucking scared to hope again though, because he could build resolve for ruin and find a life that way, but to give him hope, there's no greater cruelty.
"Don't pick now, then," he offers softly, watching all the cracks that she's bearing and wishing he could be strong enough to close them up by telling her to go, to pick Jack then and try, and that he'd still be here when it failed. He's not quite that sweet though, not so selfless as to manage it. There'd be no one else he'd find if she left, but he'd be changed for it, and he might not have anything left to give her even if she eventually came back. "Give it time, to untangle." He could wait for that, and stay whole enough.
He sighs, like he already knows she'll refuse it. "You're always on the move. Try standing still, with this, and see what emerges."
Kaisel
I'd give up half of forever, just to be with you
Wearing a watery blue, faded and stretched-out sparkling hair tie on his left wrist
