Thalassa
He still isn't angry at her and Thal doesn't get it. 'Mistakes' are when people bump into each other at the market or write the wrong word in their letter. Hers wasn't a 'mistake,' it was a failure of gargantuan proportions, a failure of intelligence, a failure of foresight, a failure of everything she tried to be. And it had cost too much to brush aside so easily.
Thal can at least get behind the sentiment of never letting it happen again - her defenses are already undergoing major reconstruction and refurbishment along with the bitter aggression biting at her emotions - but even Asta's dark reminiscence and fiery certainty aren't enough to convince her that all the lessons in the world would be enough for her. She still nods along, trying to instill the values and knowing that she wants to, yet being held back by that frustration and innate belief that she wouldn't learn.
It makes his question that much more ironic, her blue eyes narrowing as she reaches to pluck another petal. She holds it between her fingers as she pauses to think about how it all had happened, time passing without a word and only the crackle of fire. The petal goes up in a blaze when she finally answers, "Nothing." Not a absolution of blame, but the truth, because Pierce hadn't lured her in or enticed her with flowery promises and he hadn't forced anything on her that she hadn't consented to - with her infection being a gray area. That's what makes it all the worse, her own role feeling like the only source of blame in the end, feeling like the only other outlet for her anger. She wants someone to know it all and confirm her verdict. She wants to tell Asta, to confess it all to the person who had bothered to give a shit despite it, because even if he ends up agreeing with her, he deserves to know what kind of friend she is.
The words begin to flow, the tragedy unfolding in a tumble of stupid choices and dumb decisions, "I met Pierce before everyone knew his name - before I'd ever met you. I could tell he was strong - powerful - and we had a good time together." As close as they are, she spares Asta the grotesque details of their fling, shrugging her shoulders. "Then I didn't see him for a long time, except for the wanted posters broadcasting his crimes - not that I cared." Murder is as common in her line of work as shells on the beach. She hadn't even batted an eye.
Crossing her arms, the line of her lips thins. "When I did see him again..." She recalls the playful banter, the heated looks, the firm pat on Vesper's face...
Thal swallows the tangle of emotions there, the knot falling into her stomach like a ten ton stone that makes her wince before she can wipe the expression away and explain the events, although a slight strain enters her tone. "I needed a distraction and since he seemed to enjoy being with me, I thought I was safe from the Family's attentions. I wasn't a threat. I didn't care about what they did or didn't do. I thought they would only infect someone if it was advantageous to their cause." She didn't have the connections or the political influence to make it worth their time. After all, who was she in the grand scheme of things?
"So... I sought him out. And when I finally found him, he kissed me, punched me, and infected me. And I practically thanked him for it afterwards." The sour taste of bile rises in her throat again. This time, Thal moves away to grab an open bottle from the counter, pouring a hefty glass to wash down what she can. The burn feels deserved, carving a line straight to her heart when she turns back to Asta. She leans back against the counter, hands propped along with the empty glass in her fingers, a humorless smirk on her lips as she finally says, "So what did I learn? I learned that I'm an idiot who goes asking for trouble, and I have shit taste in men - friends excluded."
Thal can at least get behind the sentiment of never letting it happen again - her defenses are already undergoing major reconstruction and refurbishment along with the bitter aggression biting at her emotions - but even Asta's dark reminiscence and fiery certainty aren't enough to convince her that all the lessons in the world would be enough for her. She still nods along, trying to instill the values and knowing that she wants to, yet being held back by that frustration and innate belief that she wouldn't learn.
It makes his question that much more ironic, her blue eyes narrowing as she reaches to pluck another petal. She holds it between her fingers as she pauses to think about how it all had happened, time passing without a word and only the crackle of fire. The petal goes up in a blaze when she finally answers, "Nothing." Not a absolution of blame, but the truth, because Pierce hadn't lured her in or enticed her with flowery promises and he hadn't forced anything on her that she hadn't consented to - with her infection being a gray area. That's what makes it all the worse, her own role feeling like the only source of blame in the end, feeling like the only other outlet for her anger. She wants someone to know it all and confirm her verdict. She wants to tell Asta, to confess it all to the person who had bothered to give a shit despite it, because even if he ends up agreeing with her, he deserves to know what kind of friend she is.
The words begin to flow, the tragedy unfolding in a tumble of stupid choices and dumb decisions, "I met Pierce before everyone knew his name - before I'd ever met you. I could tell he was strong - powerful - and we had a good time together." As close as they are, she spares Asta the grotesque details of their fling, shrugging her shoulders. "Then I didn't see him for a long time, except for the wanted posters broadcasting his crimes - not that I cared." Murder is as common in her line of work as shells on the beach. She hadn't even batted an eye.
Crossing her arms, the line of her lips thins. "When I did see him again..." She recalls the playful banter, the heated looks, the firm pat on Vesper's face...
Thal swallows the tangle of emotions there, the knot falling into her stomach like a ten ton stone that makes her wince before she can wipe the expression away and explain the events, although a slight strain enters her tone. "I needed a distraction and since he seemed to enjoy being with me, I thought I was safe from the Family's attentions. I wasn't a threat. I didn't care about what they did or didn't do. I thought they would only infect someone if it was advantageous to their cause." She didn't have the connections or the political influence to make it worth their time. After all, who was she in the grand scheme of things?
"So... I sought him out. And when I finally found him, he kissed me, punched me, and infected me. And I practically thanked him for it afterwards." The sour taste of bile rises in her throat again. This time, Thal moves away to grab an open bottle from the counter, pouring a hefty glass to wash down what she can. The burn feels deserved, carving a line straight to her heart when she turns back to Asta. She leans back against the counter, hands propped along with the empty glass in her fingers, a humorless smirk on her lips as she finally says, "So what did I learn? I learned that I'm an idiot who goes asking for trouble, and I have shit taste in men - friends excluded."
Don't ask questions you don't wanna know
Learned my lesson way too long ago
Learned my lesson way too long ago
