Kalt
let the rain wash away
She moves closer to me on the bed, and I wrap my arm around her again when she settles herself easily against me. My fingers brush through her thick hair, pulling it slightly back from her face when she leans onto my shoulder.
“It isn’t your fault.” Her words fall against something fragile as glass and dense as brick.
I know it isn’t my fault. What happened three years ago, everything that happened that changed the world as we knew it… None of it was on me, I couldn’t have prevented it… But that doesn’t change the fact that I wish more than anything else that I could get back the time lost.
“You have to go and get mom,” she says, her hands fitting into mine as she looks at me. I glance down at them, thumbs smoothing over her knuckles, then look up again when she continues. “She was never the same. And I think… that after I left, when I asked Frey to make me old enough…”
So that’s how it happened… It was an intentional plea…
“I think she got worse, all alone for so long. She just saw Vai again—” I can’t help but chuckle at that, “—and Remi and Ronin, and I think that helped. But she really, really needs to see you.”
“Your grandmother was never my biggest fan,” I chuckle with a short bounce of my brows, “but I’m glad she got to see her mom again.” Family has always been so important to Ashe, and while the only family I’ve truly cared about is the one I forged with my own hands, I could never take away from the value that it holds for Ashe.
Looking around the dark room, my starry illusion having gone at some point when I stopped paying attention to it, I picture it all brand new. The materials of the half-built bed sitting in front of me on the floor, Ashe grinning at me from the top of a ladder with a paintbrush in hand, and the girl in front of me cackling while covered in sticky stains that match Ashe’s brush. There was a time that I actually believed nothing could ever touch us again.
But even now, even coming home to my daughter, it really hits me… “You and Mom…” I start, my brows furrowing slightly. “You two aren’t together anymore.” It’s a statement, though the question underneath goes unsaid; what happened?
“It isn’t your fault.” Her words fall against something fragile as glass and dense as brick.
I know it isn’t my fault. What happened three years ago, everything that happened that changed the world as we knew it… None of it was on me, I couldn’t have prevented it… But that doesn’t change the fact that I wish more than anything else that I could get back the time lost.
“You have to go and get mom,” she says, her hands fitting into mine as she looks at me. I glance down at them, thumbs smoothing over her knuckles, then look up again when she continues. “She was never the same. And I think… that after I left, when I asked Frey to make me old enough…”
So that’s how it happened… It was an intentional plea…
“I think she got worse, all alone for so long. She just saw Vai again—” I can’t help but chuckle at that, “—and Remi and Ronin, and I think that helped. But she really, really needs to see you.”
“Your grandmother was never my biggest fan,” I chuckle with a short bounce of my brows, “but I’m glad she got to see her mom again.” Family has always been so important to Ashe, and while the only family I’ve truly cared about is the one I forged with my own hands, I could never take away from the value that it holds for Ashe.
Looking around the dark room, my starry illusion having gone at some point when I stopped paying attention to it, I picture it all brand new. The materials of the half-built bed sitting in front of me on the floor, Ashe grinning at me from the top of a ladder with a paintbrush in hand, and the girl in front of me cackling while covered in sticky stains that match Ashe’s brush. There was a time that I actually believed nothing could ever touch us again.
But even now, even coming home to my daughter, it really hits me… “You and Mom…” I start, my brows furrowing slightly. “You two aren’t together anymore.” It’s a statement, though the question underneath goes unsaid; what happened?
all the pain of yesterday
