Flora
His question startles a breath of laughter from her, surprised enough that it spills out before she can stop it. But when she glances up and sees that Kaisel’s serious—of course he is—her expression softens, the corners of her mouth tipping into something fond and aching. Gods. He really would. He’d walk up there like some golden idiot, smiling and supportive and infuriatingly present, and it has her shaking her head gently, her hand tightening around his.
"No," she says quietly, though her smile still lingers. "Having you there would only make it harder. And also..." Her voice trails off for a second before she lifts her gaze fully to his, steady despite the tired ache behind it. "Because it isn't about you, really. I can’t be with Jack because of the things he did and didn't do, not because of what you did or didn't do."
There was also no way to explain that Kai would need to be about sixty feet away for Jack not to notice him without revealing why. So instead, she just lets the words fade, her breath sliding out in a quiet exhale. "I’ll be fine." But she won’t be. And maybe some part of her already knows that she won’t go up to Stormbreak at all. That for all her plans and promises, for how much she loved Jack, she wasn't sure she could face him down and say that after everything she'd been through and everything they had, that she'd found her limit. It’s easier to be brave in hypotheticals. Harder to climb the stairs.
His voice brings her back, his reminder softer than it has any right to be. You were also crying over me. She nods, and it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. "Yeah," she says, voice softer now, nearly lost in the space between them. It hadn’t been an ultimatum from him, not really, but it had forced her to choose. How the thought of his laughter vanishing from her life had been the thing that finally cut through all the noise; that when she imagined him gone, something in her chest had buckled and snapped. Even now, tears bite at the back of her eyes, but she blinks them away. "Maybe I do need that."
His thumb sweeps against her ribs and it’s kind—so impossibly kind—that it makes it hard for her to lie still. Kindness always undoes her more than cruelty ever could. She wants to cover it with her body, drown it out with pleasure or teasing or something she knows how to handle.
Her breath quickens, barely, and she turns into the question, hand pressing into his. She swallows, trying to pull thoughts into order, but after the day they’ve had, her brain is all soft edges and unspoken things. "Time," she says first, tentative. "Not space," she adds quickly, stretching one leg up and over his hip with a crooked smile that tries to lighten the moment. "Just...time."
Her voice steadies a little as she looks up at him again. "This week has been—" She huffs a breath that’s almost a laugh. "—like a rollercoaster I didn’t even know I was on. And now I just need things to settle. I still want to see you. I want to be like this with you," she says, hand sweeping vaguely between them, a warmth threading into the words. "But I can’t suddenly jump into a relationship and move in together."
Her lips twitch with something close to guilt, her voice quieter now. "And Caly..." She grimaces softly. "Even if things ended with you two before this, it’s probably going to hurt her. My feelings were hurt and you and I weren't even dating." She doesn't try to dress it up. Just leaves it there between them, something true and thorned.
"No," she says quietly, though her smile still lingers. "Having you there would only make it harder. And also..." Her voice trails off for a second before she lifts her gaze fully to his, steady despite the tired ache behind it. "Because it isn't about you, really. I can’t be with Jack because of the things he did and didn't do, not because of what you did or didn't do."
There was also no way to explain that Kai would need to be about sixty feet away for Jack not to notice him without revealing why. So instead, she just lets the words fade, her breath sliding out in a quiet exhale. "I’ll be fine." But she won’t be. And maybe some part of her already knows that she won’t go up to Stormbreak at all. That for all her plans and promises, for how much she loved Jack, she wasn't sure she could face him down and say that after everything she'd been through and everything they had, that she'd found her limit. It’s easier to be brave in hypotheticals. Harder to climb the stairs.
His voice brings her back, his reminder softer than it has any right to be. You were also crying over me. She nods, and it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. "Yeah," she says, voice softer now, nearly lost in the space between them. It hadn’t been an ultimatum from him, not really, but it had forced her to choose. How the thought of his laughter vanishing from her life had been the thing that finally cut through all the noise; that when she imagined him gone, something in her chest had buckled and snapped. Even now, tears bite at the back of her eyes, but she blinks them away. "Maybe I do need that."
His thumb sweeps against her ribs and it’s kind—so impossibly kind—that it makes it hard for her to lie still. Kindness always undoes her more than cruelty ever could. She wants to cover it with her body, drown it out with pleasure or teasing or something she knows how to handle.
Her breath quickens, barely, and she turns into the question, hand pressing into his. She swallows, trying to pull thoughts into order, but after the day they’ve had, her brain is all soft edges and unspoken things. "Time," she says first, tentative. "Not space," she adds quickly, stretching one leg up and over his hip with a crooked smile that tries to lighten the moment. "Just...time."
Her voice steadies a little as she looks up at him again. "This week has been—" She huffs a breath that’s almost a laugh. "—like a rollercoaster I didn’t even know I was on. And now I just need things to settle. I still want to see you. I want to be like this with you," she says, hand sweeping vaguely between them, a warmth threading into the words. "But I can’t suddenly jump into a relationship and move in together."
Her lips twitch with something close to guilt, her voice quieter now. "And Caly..." She grimaces softly. "Even if things ended with you two before this, it’s probably going to hurt her. My feelings were hurt and you and I weren't even dating." She doesn't try to dress it up. Just leaves it there between them, something true and thorned.
I hope you're sweating the bigger stuff,
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
Code stolen from Queen Sky
