Flora
The way Kaisel's fingers tighten at her thigh makes her still, the grip more grounding than rough, and when she lifts her head to look at him, it’s with something almost like disbelief. Not at him, but at herself. At the fact that he’s still trying to convince her. when all she’s ever known is that she doesn’t get to be loved like this without paying for it. Her lips twitch, caught somewhere between a frown and a wry smile. "I know you’re not going to stop," she murmurs, brushing some of his hair back with her fingers in a half-hearted attempt at lightness. "Because the day you actually hold your tongue is the day I have to bring you back from the dead."
Even wrapped in playfulness, Flora's eyes still search his, looking for cracks in his sincerity, watching for the moment the pedestal crumbles. How could she believe those compliments when they only seemed to reinforce the fantasy she was already afraid of? When everyone in her life had either left or demanded more of her? When Remi and Ronin had looked at her like a mistake that needed managing, and Jack had doled out affection like he was measuring it by the grain?
When the pulse of his fingers against her skin shifts, she can feel his breath change before he even speaks such that she's already starting to lift her head when the question comes. And it stops her cold. The bruises are still there. Purple blossoms pressed into the skin of her hips, throat, and chest like some dying bouquet, Jack's hands lingering even now.
Her mouth parts with a shaky breath, but no sound comes out. Because how is she supposed to explain it? She liked the way Jack had handled her, there’s no pretending otherwise. The roughness, the hunger, the way he’d press her down like he owned her and always knew exactly how far she wanted to go. It made her feel wanted, wicked, powerful in how powerless she could let herself be beneath him. And maybe that did come from somewhere tangled up in all her old scars and daddy issues—the parts of her still aching for the kind of love that demanded everything and never left.
But it was more than just that. With Jack, there’d never been any risk in letting go. Not when he could feel her pleasure directly, read every flicker of hesitation or heat from the inside out. It meant he could be relentless without ever pushing too far. There was safety in that edge, because he’d never fall off it, which meant she wouldn't ever either, because he always knew. And Kaisel...didn't. But did she want him to be like that? Was it the sort of thing he could do, if she asked it of him?
Her cheeks flush, heat blooming beneath her skin as a tremble stirs in her limbs. She draws in a breath and shifts higher on him, so they’re eye to eye again, so she can reach. One hand frees itself and comes to rest against his cheek, her palm warm against his skin. "There are things that I like," she says at last, her voice soft but steady. "I can show you." Her smile curves lopsided, more invitation than apology now, even as her eyes search his for some confirmation that this wasn't going to be a thorn between them that rooted deep. "We can figure it out together, okay?"
Even wrapped in playfulness, Flora's eyes still search his, looking for cracks in his sincerity, watching for the moment the pedestal crumbles. How could she believe those compliments when they only seemed to reinforce the fantasy she was already afraid of? When everyone in her life had either left or demanded more of her? When Remi and Ronin had looked at her like a mistake that needed managing, and Jack had doled out affection like he was measuring it by the grain?
When the pulse of his fingers against her skin shifts, she can feel his breath change before he even speaks such that she's already starting to lift her head when the question comes. And it stops her cold. The bruises are still there. Purple blossoms pressed into the skin of her hips, throat, and chest like some dying bouquet, Jack's hands lingering even now.
Her mouth parts with a shaky breath, but no sound comes out. Because how is she supposed to explain it? She liked the way Jack had handled her, there’s no pretending otherwise. The roughness, the hunger, the way he’d press her down like he owned her and always knew exactly how far she wanted to go. It made her feel wanted, wicked, powerful in how powerless she could let herself be beneath him. And maybe that did come from somewhere tangled up in all her old scars and daddy issues—the parts of her still aching for the kind of love that demanded everything and never left.
But it was more than just that. With Jack, there’d never been any risk in letting go. Not when he could feel her pleasure directly, read every flicker of hesitation or heat from the inside out. It meant he could be relentless without ever pushing too far. There was safety in that edge, because he’d never fall off it, which meant she wouldn't ever either, because he always knew. And Kaisel...didn't. But did she want him to be like that? Was it the sort of thing he could do, if she asked it of him?
Her cheeks flush, heat blooming beneath her skin as a tremble stirs in her limbs. She draws in a breath and shifts higher on him, so they’re eye to eye again, so she can reach. One hand frees itself and comes to rest against his cheek, her palm warm against his skin. "There are things that I like," she says at last, her voice soft but steady. "I can show you." Her smile curves lopsided, more invitation than apology now, even as her eyes search his for some confirmation that this wasn't going to be a thorn between them that rooted deep. "We can figure it out together, okay?"
I hope you're sweating the bigger stuff,
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
finding some peace in an honest love
Hope you stop when you've had enough & throw the towel in
Code stolen from Queen Sky
