Kalt
let the rain wash away
“I really liked her,” she says, and I smile slightly, already realizing before she says, “I got to meet her too.”
I’m glad for her. Whatever might have transpired between myself and Vervain, I’m glad she got to meet her grandmother, glad Vai got to meet her granddaughter. It’s a beautiful world where death doesn’t necessarily mean an end.
She averts her eyes when I ask about Ashe, though, and it confirms it without her even needing to answer further. But I still need the clarity, the answer. I need to know.
“I couldn’t do it anymore,” comes her quiet explanation. “The way we kept hiding. Running from everyone who could love us, running because we were afraid and…” Although she cuts herself off, I keep my gaze on her, brows slowly falling with her words.
It doesn’t shock me, but I can’t say it doesn’t hurt.
Ashe and I knew from the start that we wouldn’t be able to keep her sequestered away from the world forever, that she would eventually need to branch out on her own…but we had also hoped that time was still years off. I suppose it was, at least for them.
“She wasn’t ready, but I was,” she continues. “I am. She stayed close, but I wanted to try and make it here, even if she didn’t want to. Then I figured out how lonely it was without her. And how horrible I felt. I almost went back but… then I met people. Family. Friends, Dad, real friends. Not just people in passing anymore. I’m even a part of a guild.”
“What?” I bite, unintentionally sharper than I intend. It’s not the Guild, but still… Our entire purpose in bringing her away was to keep her safe, but perhaps, we unintentionally made her only run faster in the opposite direction…
“And when she did show up, finally… I’ve got a life. And I’m afraid of being stifled again.” She’s sinking into herself, pulling into the child I know her as. “But I left her all alone. For months.”
I tuck my hand under her chin, gently forcing her to look at me. “Your mother’s fears are not your responsibility,” I tell her, my voice soft but firm, unwavering.
We never made her responsible for managing our emotions—as erratic as we both knew them to be—when she was a child, and I’m not about to let her slip into that role now.
“Theea, you’re an adult.” My thumb brushes her jaw before I drop my hand to hers. “No one is going to force you into anything you don’t want. We had to when you were a child. This world was unfamiliar, we didn’t truly know who could be trusted, and neither of us was willing to risk you.” It’s all shit she’s heard before.
I pull her closer again to kiss her head, my voice hushed when I say, “But you have every right to figure out who you are outside of our family.” I lean back with a crooked smirk. “As long as you always make your way back. I tracked you down once, and I can do it again.” A piece of her hair twists around my finger for a gently playful tug before falling loose again.
I’m glad for her. Whatever might have transpired between myself and Vervain, I’m glad she got to meet her grandmother, glad Vai got to meet her granddaughter. It’s a beautiful world where death doesn’t necessarily mean an end.
She averts her eyes when I ask about Ashe, though, and it confirms it without her even needing to answer further. But I still need the clarity, the answer. I need to know.
“I couldn’t do it anymore,” comes her quiet explanation. “The way we kept hiding. Running from everyone who could love us, running because we were afraid and…” Although she cuts herself off, I keep my gaze on her, brows slowly falling with her words.
It doesn’t shock me, but I can’t say it doesn’t hurt.
Ashe and I knew from the start that we wouldn’t be able to keep her sequestered away from the world forever, that she would eventually need to branch out on her own…but we had also hoped that time was still years off. I suppose it was, at least for them.
“She wasn’t ready, but I was,” she continues. “I am. She stayed close, but I wanted to try and make it here, even if she didn’t want to. Then I figured out how lonely it was without her. And how horrible I felt. I almost went back but… then I met people. Family. Friends, Dad, real friends. Not just people in passing anymore. I’m even a part of a guild.”
“What?” I bite, unintentionally sharper than I intend. It’s not the Guild, but still… Our entire purpose in bringing her away was to keep her safe, but perhaps, we unintentionally made her only run faster in the opposite direction…
“And when she did show up, finally… I’ve got a life. And I’m afraid of being stifled again.” She’s sinking into herself, pulling into the child I know her as. “But I left her all alone. For months.”
I tuck my hand under her chin, gently forcing her to look at me. “Your mother’s fears are not your responsibility,” I tell her, my voice soft but firm, unwavering.
We never made her responsible for managing our emotions—as erratic as we both knew them to be—when she was a child, and I’m not about to let her slip into that role now.
“Theea, you’re an adult.” My thumb brushes her jaw before I drop my hand to hers. “No one is going to force you into anything you don’t want. We had to when you were a child. This world was unfamiliar, we didn’t truly know who could be trusted, and neither of us was willing to risk you.” It’s all shit she’s heard before.
I pull her closer again to kiss her head, my voice hushed when I say, “But you have every right to figure out who you are outside of our family.” I lean back with a crooked smirk. “As long as you always make your way back. I tracked you down once, and I can do it again.” A piece of her hair twists around my finger for a gently playful tug before falling loose again.
all the pain of yesterday
