i am trying to wander more
Soh’s words land like a pebble dropped in still water—small, but the ripples keep moving. …everything after that just feels like something I lived through. It threads straight through me. I was living before my dad fell. After, I survived. I moved, I breathed, I smiled when I could—but it wasn’t the same kind of living. It was weathering. It was standing in the surf and letting the tide knock me around because that was the only direction it had.
I turn to her, that soft ache gentling into warmth. "It is helpful," I tell her, and mean it. "You always seem so put together, you know? And I feel so behind everyone. You say you’re still figuring it out… and I don’t feel quite as alone." The smile I give her is quiet, steadier than I expect.
"I think 'here' for me is family," I add, eyes back on the line where the ocean meets the pale sky. "I’m making the connections I always wanted." I nudge her shoulder with mine, a light bump that says thank you without the weight of the words. "With friends, too."
When I look at her, the lighthouse glow paints a halo in her golden hair and the star-sand pricks gold around our feet. Sohalia: all bright edges and calm center, the Luminary who feels—has always felt—like she was born for steady ground. It’s strange to imagine her losing her footing.
I fold my arms over my knees and keep my voice careful, small enough not to spook the moment. "Why aren’t you ruling Stormbreak anymore?" I ask. "I feel like I’ve missed so much. What happened?"
I turn to her, that soft ache gentling into warmth. "It is helpful," I tell her, and mean it. "You always seem so put together, you know? And I feel so behind everyone. You say you’re still figuring it out… and I don’t feel quite as alone." The smile I give her is quiet, steadier than I expect.
"I think 'here' for me is family," I add, eyes back on the line where the ocean meets the pale sky. "I’m making the connections I always wanted." I nudge her shoulder with mine, a light bump that says thank you without the weight of the words. "With friends, too."
When I look at her, the lighthouse glow paints a halo in her golden hair and the star-sand pricks gold around our feet. Sohalia: all bright edges and calm center, the Luminary who feels—has always felt—like she was born for steady ground. It’s strange to imagine her losing her footing.
I fold my arms over my knees and keep my voice careful, small enough not to spook the moment. "Why aren’t you ruling Stormbreak anymore?" I ask. "I feel like I’ve missed so much. What happened?"
Theea
i have been trying to breathe more, to love my lostness
