Told you not to worry, but maybe that's a lie
Finally, a flicker of emotion. It's only a shadow of the Vesper she remembers, but it's more than being ignored. She watches him stand, meeting his gaze without flinching, already bracing for every accusation he's ready to throw. And damn does he throw them. Only pure, stubborn willpower keeps her spine from curving, keeps the pain from her features as she takes it all like she deserves every reminder of her weakness.
She hadn't known Jack was his dad - not that it would have changed anything. She'd known Pierce had killed Flora, but it didn't stop her from searching for him, from encouraging his advances, from practically daring him to infect her. Thal wouldn't argue that her own moral compass was darker than most, uncaring about any plots or schemes that hadn't involved her, but it doesn't change how stupid she'd been to think herself outside their reach, to think so highly of herself that he wouldn't dare.
But it had never been about Pierce anyways.
No, she'd 'fucked the enemy' because it was easier than facing her feelings. Despite what everyone else had thought and what the outcome had ultimately been, Thal knew Pierce was safer - safer than whatever Pandora's box was threatening to open. It was easier to burn a forest than have to acknowledge the change blooming within. But now she's left with the charred earth, thick with the smoke and ash, wondering how deep the burns go and if anything would ever grow there again.
It's almost enough to show the sorrow on her face, to glimpse the guilt amidst the pride she'd been working to salvage. Her voice is quieter, a simmering anger that's no longer directed only at Vesper despite the way she narrows her eyes up at him like she might be able to weather the barrage of mistakes thrown in her face. "Tell me you've never made a stupid decision before. Tell me you've never been overconfident and had it bite you in the ass." She flashes her fangs again, daring him to claim perfection when everyone else is so broken. "I screwed up once and nearly ended up with a life sentence of slavery." Her words are punctuated with a flick of her tail, a clenching of her jaws so tight that her fangs could snap. Asta might have said it wasn't her fault, but it doesn't change the fact that no one else would have cared enough to cure her - and that hurt, knowing that if she didn't have him, she'd still be a shell of a person pining after a psychopath who thought it would be fun to strip her of free will then leave her with a pathetic pendant as a consolation prize for losing part of her soul.
As for her actions, Thal steps closer, further bridging that gap so he can see the truth in her eyes, even if he can see them clearly in her mind. "You said you understood but no matter what demigod powers you have, you can't." She's talking and now she can't stop, justifying the explanation as a means to prove herself rather than some weak need to redirect the brunt of the blame trying to crush her. "You try making sense of anything when their claws are so thick in your skull that any logical thought gets twisted and contorted. It just pushes you farther into their cruel grasp as they convince you that everyone else is lying, that everything other than them is wrong. It's a prison of illusions that you can't escape because nothing can convince you that you should. It's having to live with the guilt and disgust, knowing that I was so manipulated that I would have done anything for them just for an ounce of approval." Her breaths come fast - too fast - as she tries to convince herself that it's only the anger making her vision constrict, only the rage that's making her fingers tremble, uncaring that she'd stopped talking about him anymore, consumed by the memories that well in her mind, dense with a lack of control that has bile threatening to rise again.
A chill tries to spread through her veins, shocking her enough that she sucks down a breath, planting her feet against the feelings she refuses to show Vesper. The pale wash of her features and brief avoidance of his gaze would be enough even if he wasn't a telepath, but Thal doesn't know that, and she clenches her fists at her sides, still doing her best to hide it all as she snaps, "I've suffered enough without your judgement, so forgive me if I don't feel inclined to grovel to another asshole for their approval." He might not have deserved most of her wrath, but she didn't think he deserved her precious apology either, not when all he'd done was goad and insult after finding out she'd been infected.
She hadn't known Jack was his dad - not that it would have changed anything. She'd known Pierce had killed Flora, but it didn't stop her from searching for him, from encouraging his advances, from practically daring him to infect her. Thal wouldn't argue that her own moral compass was darker than most, uncaring about any plots or schemes that hadn't involved her, but it doesn't change how stupid she'd been to think herself outside their reach, to think so highly of herself that he wouldn't dare.
But it had never been about Pierce anyways.
No, she'd 'fucked the enemy' because it was easier than facing her feelings. Despite what everyone else had thought and what the outcome had ultimately been, Thal knew Pierce was safer - safer than whatever Pandora's box was threatening to open. It was easier to burn a forest than have to acknowledge the change blooming within. But now she's left with the charred earth, thick with the smoke and ash, wondering how deep the burns go and if anything would ever grow there again.
It's almost enough to show the sorrow on her face, to glimpse the guilt amidst the pride she'd been working to salvage. Her voice is quieter, a simmering anger that's no longer directed only at Vesper despite the way she narrows her eyes up at him like she might be able to weather the barrage of mistakes thrown in her face. "Tell me you've never made a stupid decision before. Tell me you've never been overconfident and had it bite you in the ass." She flashes her fangs again, daring him to claim perfection when everyone else is so broken. "I screwed up once and nearly ended up with a life sentence of slavery." Her words are punctuated with a flick of her tail, a clenching of her jaws so tight that her fangs could snap. Asta might have said it wasn't her fault, but it doesn't change the fact that no one else would have cared enough to cure her - and that hurt, knowing that if she didn't have him, she'd still be a shell of a person pining after a psychopath who thought it would be fun to strip her of free will then leave her with a pathetic pendant as a consolation prize for losing part of her soul.
As for her actions, Thal steps closer, further bridging that gap so he can see the truth in her eyes, even if he can see them clearly in her mind. "You said you understood but no matter what demigod powers you have, you can't." She's talking and now she can't stop, justifying the explanation as a means to prove herself rather than some weak need to redirect the brunt of the blame trying to crush her. "You try making sense of anything when their claws are so thick in your skull that any logical thought gets twisted and contorted. It just pushes you farther into their cruel grasp as they convince you that everyone else is lying, that everything other than them is wrong. It's a prison of illusions that you can't escape because nothing can convince you that you should. It's having to live with the guilt and disgust, knowing that I was so manipulated that I would have done anything for them just for an ounce of approval." Her breaths come fast - too fast - as she tries to convince herself that it's only the anger making her vision constrict, only the rage that's making her fingers tremble, uncaring that she'd stopped talking about him anymore, consumed by the memories that well in her mind, dense with a lack of control that has bile threatening to rise again.
A chill tries to spread through her veins, shocking her enough that she sucks down a breath, planting her feet against the feelings she refuses to show Vesper. The pale wash of her features and brief avoidance of his gaze would be enough even if he wasn't a telepath, but Thal doesn't know that, and she clenches her fists at her sides, still doing her best to hide it all as she snaps, "I've suffered enough without your judgement, so forgive me if I don't feel inclined to grovel to another asshole for their approval." He might not have deserved most of her wrath, but she didn't think he deserved her precious apology either, not when all he'd done was goad and insult after finding out she'd been infected.
Thalassa
Honey, what's your hurry? Won't you stay inside?
