Told you not to worry, but maybe that's a lie
Having nothing to compare her memories to, Thal doubts herself, shaken by the utter disbelief in his voice. He makes it so hard to find the logic, to explain why everything he'd done had set her off, had dug so deep into her stubborn insecurities that she couldn't stop the denial. She can't separate the infection from her own reactions. She can't figure out whether it had been her thoughts or the Void twisting things. And she sure as hell can't admit that it didn't matter. But she can plant her feet and look him in the eyes, can ask him to tell her the hard truths now that her mind is clear.
Thal can't bring herself to give in so easily, to ask for his help now when he's proven he wouldn't before. Instead, her lips purse, a challenge clear in her eyes as she dares him to label what he'd done, to prove to her that he hadn't enjoyed watching her suffer, that he wasn't a heartless monster. "Then what would you call it when you knew I was infected - that nothing you said was going to help - and still laughed at my pain, pointing out all the ways I wasn't good enough anymore? Don't lie and say you didn't want a reaction at the expense of my feelings."
As much as he's able to read and goad her, Thal can't do the same, and she isn't prepared for the cold eyes or confusion or complete apathy he throws her way next, his questions stabbing straight into her chest and the root of all her problems. Her blazing blue gaze flickers, a glimpse at the truth she's tried desperately to hide, that now floods her thoughts. It hurts that he hadn't cared, that he'd rather cut all ties than even play with the idea of helping her, that she'd actually liked him enough to be worried when his life had been threatened only to have the opposite thrown her way. She can't fault him when they had been casual; but it doesn't make it hurt any less, and she hates admitting that she'd been weak enough to give him that power.
A deep breath fills her lungs, doing its best to replicate strength as she stands her ground against him. There's something in the heavy weight of her tone, a quiet realization that dampens the fiery snap. "I didn't expect you to be some selfless savior or knight in shining armor that would scour Caido until you found a cure, but I sure as hell didn't expect you to abandon me to a fate worse than death without so much as a flicker of remorse." Especially not when he held so much of the reason for her choice.
It's impossible to keep her bearing near him. One minute he's cold and the next he's hot, stepping cleanly through her fire to call her shit, pulling her from the hatred that swirls her thoughts. Indignation rises, eyes narrowing as she makes use of what little height she has in preparation for a fight. "I - " But the argument dies on her lips, the quiet saying more than she wants before she clenches her fists, a decision solidifying in the pieces of pain and regret.
Looking up, there's no more bravado or facade that she hides behind, the truth feeling as much like an insult as any lie. Her voice is full of disappointment, the edges dripping with regret. "I am." Mad at him for not doing more. Mad at herself for hoping he might. Mad at the Pierce for ruining her. Mad at herself for letting him. But 'mad' isn't enough to encompass what she feels - all she feels. It's a clusterfuck of chaos and insanity that she silently drowns in, having always known it would be her downfall.
It's why she doesn't have the emotional room to bait him into telling her what thoughts make his jaw clench or his voice lower - not sure she wants to know.
He might be stronger, he might have the ability to get under her skin, but they've already established how hard-headed she is, meaning it should come as no surprise when she doesn't flinch from his aggression or the heat he shoves down her throat, her finger staying planted on his chest until he ultimately steps away. Falling into old habits, her mouth curves into a sharp grin that doesn't reach the storm in her eyes. "I didn't say I wasn't one."
Thal can't bring herself to give in so easily, to ask for his help now when he's proven he wouldn't before. Instead, her lips purse, a challenge clear in her eyes as she dares him to label what he'd done, to prove to her that he hadn't enjoyed watching her suffer, that he wasn't a heartless monster. "Then what would you call it when you knew I was infected - that nothing you said was going to help - and still laughed at my pain, pointing out all the ways I wasn't good enough anymore? Don't lie and say you didn't want a reaction at the expense of my feelings."
As much as he's able to read and goad her, Thal can't do the same, and she isn't prepared for the cold eyes or confusion or complete apathy he throws her way next, his questions stabbing straight into her chest and the root of all her problems. Her blazing blue gaze flickers, a glimpse at the truth she's tried desperately to hide, that now floods her thoughts. It hurts that he hadn't cared, that he'd rather cut all ties than even play with the idea of helping her, that she'd actually liked him enough to be worried when his life had been threatened only to have the opposite thrown her way. She can't fault him when they had been casual; but it doesn't make it hurt any less, and she hates admitting that she'd been weak enough to give him that power.
A deep breath fills her lungs, doing its best to replicate strength as she stands her ground against him. There's something in the heavy weight of her tone, a quiet realization that dampens the fiery snap. "I didn't expect you to be some selfless savior or knight in shining armor that would scour Caido until you found a cure, but I sure as hell didn't expect you to abandon me to a fate worse than death without so much as a flicker of remorse." Especially not when he held so much of the reason for her choice.
It's impossible to keep her bearing near him. One minute he's cold and the next he's hot, stepping cleanly through her fire to call her shit, pulling her from the hatred that swirls her thoughts. Indignation rises, eyes narrowing as she makes use of what little height she has in preparation for a fight. "I - " But the argument dies on her lips, the quiet saying more than she wants before she clenches her fists, a decision solidifying in the pieces of pain and regret.
Looking up, there's no more bravado or facade that she hides behind, the truth feeling as much like an insult as any lie. Her voice is full of disappointment, the edges dripping with regret. "I am." Mad at him for not doing more. Mad at herself for hoping he might. Mad at the Pierce for ruining her. Mad at herself for letting him. But 'mad' isn't enough to encompass what she feels - all she feels. It's a clusterfuck of chaos and insanity that she silently drowns in, having always known it would be her downfall.
It's why she doesn't have the emotional room to bait him into telling her what thoughts make his jaw clench or his voice lower - not sure she wants to know.
He might be stronger, he might have the ability to get under her skin, but they've already established how hard-headed she is, meaning it should come as no surprise when she doesn't flinch from his aggression or the heat he shoves down her throat, her finger staying planted on his chest until he ultimately steps away. Falling into old habits, her mouth curves into a sharp grin that doesn't reach the storm in her eyes. "I didn't say I wasn't one."
Thalassa
Honey, what's your hurry? Won't you stay inside?
