Zavien
Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.
It was obvious that Lena was joking, that she'd cared enough not to push or tease - even if he hadn't noticed any cues to bolster him into acting. However, the laughter poked at something insecure and worried, wanting her to know why. His face shifted out of view, tense despite all the soft feelings settled in his bones. "It's not that I didn't want to... I just - " Zavien ran a hand down the smooth skin of her spine, gentle and reverent like he might just count the vertebrae there along with every reason he cared for her. "I didn't want you to think I was only dating you for sex, and I wanted to make sure it was enjoyable for you." To make sure he knew what he was doing so he didn't hurt her or ruin the mood with his gaping inexperience. It was a desire to do well for her, to prove just how much she meant to him.
Ultimately though, the best advice had been communicating, and Zavien planned to take that farther than the bedroom. Starting with the words that continued to echo through his heart and mind, the ones he'd been too scared to say again. "Last time wasn't the best timing," there was a pause, a breath as he steeled himself for a similar rejection as the first time he'd said it, "but I really do love you, Lena. I meant that then, and I still mean it now." The world may have changed around them, but his feelings for her hadn't - even if she didn't feel the same way.
It's why he was so utterly captivated by her, why her playful wink and teasing words caused a fluttering behind his sternum, why the brush of her fingers might as well have been ropes for how they kept him firmly in place. He took her in, his smile careful in its warm as Zavien let himself hope and wish for a thousand more chances to show her how special she was. His eyes searched hers as he said softly, "Something to look forward to." On both fronts.
Ultimately though, the best advice had been communicating, and Zavien planned to take that farther than the bedroom. Starting with the words that continued to echo through his heart and mind, the ones he'd been too scared to say again. "Last time wasn't the best timing," there was a pause, a breath as he steeled himself for a similar rejection as the first time he'd said it, "but I really do love you, Lena. I meant that then, and I still mean it now." The world may have changed around them, but his feelings for her hadn't - even if she didn't feel the same way.
It's why he was so utterly captivated by her, why her playful wink and teasing words caused a fluttering behind his sternum, why the brush of her fingers might as well have been ropes for how they kept him firmly in place. He took her in, his smile careful in its warm as Zavien let himself hope and wish for a thousand more chances to show her how special she was. His eyes searched hers as he said softly, "Something to look forward to." On both fronts.
