COLT
I've been sleeping wide awake
Slow dancing 'round the cracks in the floorboards
Fighting myself while lying in a
Bed I made and can't ignore
Slow dancing 'round the cracks in the floorboards
Fighting myself while lying in a
Bed I made and can't ignore
The truth he provides offers her little comfort. Said like that, an empire being rebuilt, keeps the rising dread of time at a steady trickle through her. Now the idea of months blurs into seasons, to a year, to years. Suddenly this is feeling less like he'll be gone and more like it's goodbye. The irony of fearing she'd run into him too often now twisting into the very opposite is not lost on her, and a single, dry laugh huffs out, expecting nothing less than a shit hand from life but still always surprised by the lengths to which fate could be a right bitch.
The trickle picks up more volume and speed, cutting through her with all the haste of rainwater that's been dumped too fast on ground too hard. She blinks back at the surge of it, palms grabbing at the edge of the counter for something steadying as she bears down on the brace of her arms. End of LongNight. She does a quick count in her head as to how long it's already been, just to know how much is left. Hardly seems like enough each time she ticks it off, but then maybe there's a mercy in that, that he didn't leave her with this knowledge for too long, the way a shorter line keeps a tied horse safer; less for them to tangle up in.
She's expectant then, at the extension of her offer. Partly for refusal, his voice just the slide of a blade to sever whatever this is that's between them, which feels too sharp and cold after she'd just had the heat of his hand moments ago. The other part, it's a held breath of hope, one that loosens at the nod he grants. The Grounds, then.
His mention of things to do up there earns the faintest twitch of a smile, "I wouldn't be going there to sightsee, not beyond one sight anyway." Might only be the middle of the ocean that would matter to her as far as location for visiting him is concerned. Can't say she has much in the way of sea legs. "I'm sure you'll like it though, was up there earlier this season with Thorn," she says off hand, hoping maybe light talk would help her swallow it all. It hadn't been enough of a trip to do the place justice, especially with bad weather keeping them out of the more wild places she'd been interested in seeing, but the architecture that Thorn so loved had its own manner of charm that grew on her by the end.
A soft sigh slips out in the next breath, an attempt to keep steady now that she's out of words, but it doesn't work. Her fingers curl tighter against the counter. That little spark of future possibility is not enough to raze through all the rest, her thoughts still slick and the current still strong. There's few guard rails left tonight to divert what her mind sends to her mouth, so her tongue's nearly as quick as her thinking. "You don't seem bothered." She aims for observation rather than accusation, but it tightens at her jaw all the same. He's here, she knows that means something, that he came to tell her. He could have walked away without ever dropping by. Could have sent a letter leaving all her questions unanswered. She also knows the importance of work, probably better than most. Still, knowing all that doesn't keep it from feeling any different, like she's falling, and she's doing it alone, because looking at him he's as unruffled as ever. It worries her, that she's having to hold the counter and he's barely leaned off his own feet.
"Godsdamnit Vesper, why aren't you bothered?" she demands, one hand briefly rising just to slap the punctuation of it onto the counter. Some of the more skittish dogs get to their feet, slinking away from the fireplace. "You're always so calm!"
She swallows hard, gaze pinching in with concern as she looks at him. Not for the first time, she's searching for something in his face. It's always been hard to find though. Her voice runs softer abruptly, an unusual plea buried in it. "Even about this?"
The trickle picks up more volume and speed, cutting through her with all the haste of rainwater that's been dumped too fast on ground too hard. She blinks back at the surge of it, palms grabbing at the edge of the counter for something steadying as she bears down on the brace of her arms. End of LongNight. She does a quick count in her head as to how long it's already been, just to know how much is left. Hardly seems like enough each time she ticks it off, but then maybe there's a mercy in that, that he didn't leave her with this knowledge for too long, the way a shorter line keeps a tied horse safer; less for them to tangle up in.
She's expectant then, at the extension of her offer. Partly for refusal, his voice just the slide of a blade to sever whatever this is that's between them, which feels too sharp and cold after she'd just had the heat of his hand moments ago. The other part, it's a held breath of hope, one that loosens at the nod he grants. The Grounds, then.
His mention of things to do up there earns the faintest twitch of a smile, "I wouldn't be going there to sightsee, not beyond one sight anyway." Might only be the middle of the ocean that would matter to her as far as location for visiting him is concerned. Can't say she has much in the way of sea legs. "I'm sure you'll like it though, was up there earlier this season with Thorn," she says off hand, hoping maybe light talk would help her swallow it all. It hadn't been enough of a trip to do the place justice, especially with bad weather keeping them out of the more wild places she'd been interested in seeing, but the architecture that Thorn so loved had its own manner of charm that grew on her by the end.
A soft sigh slips out in the next breath, an attempt to keep steady now that she's out of words, but it doesn't work. Her fingers curl tighter against the counter. That little spark of future possibility is not enough to raze through all the rest, her thoughts still slick and the current still strong. There's few guard rails left tonight to divert what her mind sends to her mouth, so her tongue's nearly as quick as her thinking. "You don't seem bothered." She aims for observation rather than accusation, but it tightens at her jaw all the same. He's here, she knows that means something, that he came to tell her. He could have walked away without ever dropping by. Could have sent a letter leaving all her questions unanswered. She also knows the importance of work, probably better than most. Still, knowing all that doesn't keep it from feeling any different, like she's falling, and she's doing it alone, because looking at him he's as unruffled as ever. It worries her, that she's having to hold the counter and he's barely leaned off his own feet.
"Godsdamnit Vesper, why aren't you bothered?" she demands, one hand briefly rising just to slap the punctuation of it onto the counter. Some of the more skittish dogs get to their feet, slinking away from the fireplace. "You're always so calm!"
She swallows hard, gaze pinching in with concern as she looks at him. Not for the first time, she's searching for something in his face. It's always been hard to find though. Her voice runs softer abruptly, an unusual plea buried in it. "Even about this?"
I'm tired of running from the conversations
Screaming in the silence, all alone
I'm frustrated, I can't take it
But I'll fake it, then I'll hate myself again
Screaming in the silence, all alone
I'm frustrated, I can't take it
But I'll fake it, then I'll hate myself again
Received a Gilded Market wig from Remi that resembles her usual hair and is enchanted to stay on better than most wigs | has a reverse centaur tattoo on her left hand with the legs going down her pointer and middle fingers that looks like this.
