Heart is buried six feet in the ground, gonna need a shovel now
Some small amount of tension releases its hold on her. Not enough to show, or fully be felt even, not really, but of the dozens of cords that've tighetened against her, the lessning of one isn't nothing. "Mm," she murmurs wordlessly in response, glad that at least she'd had a nose for something being right after all. Vesper had never fully acknowledged that point when she'd brought it up, and after the mind fuck of Thal's lips, it left her less sure about what's a want and what's something to obey. She can't quite shake the feeling that something at that shitty party hadn't been a want. She didn't like it, and she didn't much take Vesper to be the sort to appreciate commands he couldn't shake either.
The jarring aspect reads the same as he'd told her though, and she looses a small sigh to hear it repeated. "So even if it's nothing terrible, being channeled is...not a good time for you, I'm guessing? Sounds disorienting as hell." She'd known that much, or could guess as much; she's never really bothered to ask about it until know. If anything, she'd been impressed with how apt Vesper had been with both scenarios she'd called upon him, but it'd been unwanted work for him, and threat of death is a different request than desperate need. "Guess that's where I really fucked it all, then."
Feeling a splinter widen then, a different cord bearing down further, she lets that train of thought disperse into those tears and Sunjata's cataloguing of degrees of bad. He's right, she supposes, wondering is far worse, and she's still wondering about a lot even of she knows some of it. Like wondering how, even if she did fuck it up, he just left the way he did? Wondering how it seems to mean so little, in the end. How it only took six seconds to build her up and ruin him. How it's all destroyed, instead of just a little crooked.
She closes her eyes against those echoes. Steadily, she reopens them around the blur of water, blinking away the salt and forcing herself to watch the wall. She notices the new details that appear, book titles that weren't there, clarity magnifying in small wisps and movements of the mind's image. Sitting up a little so she can really see the room, she breathes in, not quite a gasp, but the sound of an idea forming. "Does that normally happen?" she asks him, a touch of excitement in her voice as she slides back down into the pillow of his thigh. "The longer you're in here, does it normally make the memory come back, clearer?" She has not used the magic rooms this place boasts often, and when she has it's usually been scenery that's dull enough to not notice parts that are missing. If she could use this to help her puzzle piece some of this shit together though, replay moments into something crisper, maybe even drag Thorn here and ask him for an outside opinion...well some of the memories anyway, she wouldn't subject him to all of them. Maybe she could find something here.
Her glance locks onto his with a lightness that she knows wouldn't be here without him. Hardly seems the right word for how heavy she still feels, but she'd still be a bawling mess without the pattern of his voice and the warm extension of his company. "Good thing misery likes company, then." She exhales something just shy of a snort. After a certain point you just have to embrace the fact it's all shit right now and find some humor amid the awful. Certainly helps to have someone sitting in the storm with you.
A yawn breaks across her features as she resettles after her rebuff, only hesitating to cast him a lingering, knowing look that says she isn't buying his halo and angel wing act for a second. "Sorry to steal you away for this," she murmurs around another yawn. "I owe you." Quite literally, actually. Sunjata's time isn't generally a handout when he's here.
The jarring aspect reads the same as he'd told her though, and she looses a small sigh to hear it repeated. "So even if it's nothing terrible, being channeled is...not a good time for you, I'm guessing? Sounds disorienting as hell." She'd known that much, or could guess as much; she's never really bothered to ask about it until know. If anything, she'd been impressed with how apt Vesper had been with both scenarios she'd called upon him, but it'd been unwanted work for him, and threat of death is a different request than desperate need. "Guess that's where I really fucked it all, then."
Feeling a splinter widen then, a different cord bearing down further, she lets that train of thought disperse into those tears and Sunjata's cataloguing of degrees of bad. He's right, she supposes, wondering is far worse, and she's still wondering about a lot even of she knows some of it. Like wondering how, even if she did fuck it up, he just left the way he did? Wondering how it seems to mean so little, in the end. How it only took six seconds to build her up and ruin him. How it's all destroyed, instead of just a little crooked.
She closes her eyes against those echoes. Steadily, she reopens them around the blur of water, blinking away the salt and forcing herself to watch the wall. She notices the new details that appear, book titles that weren't there, clarity magnifying in small wisps and movements of the mind's image. Sitting up a little so she can really see the room, she breathes in, not quite a gasp, but the sound of an idea forming. "Does that normally happen?" she asks him, a touch of excitement in her voice as she slides back down into the pillow of his thigh. "The longer you're in here, does it normally make the memory come back, clearer?" She has not used the magic rooms this place boasts often, and when she has it's usually been scenery that's dull enough to not notice parts that are missing. If she could use this to help her puzzle piece some of this shit together though, replay moments into something crisper, maybe even drag Thorn here and ask him for an outside opinion...well some of the memories anyway, she wouldn't subject him to all of them. Maybe she could find something here.
Her glance locks onto his with a lightness that she knows wouldn't be here without him. Hardly seems the right word for how heavy she still feels, but she'd still be a bawling mess without the pattern of his voice and the warm extension of his company. "Good thing misery likes company, then." She exhales something just shy of a snort. After a certain point you just have to embrace the fact it's all shit right now and find some humor amid the awful. Certainly helps to have someone sitting in the storm with you.
A yawn breaks across her features as she resettles after her rebuff, only hesitating to cast him a lingering, knowing look that says she isn't buying his halo and angel wing act for a second. "Sorry to steal you away for this," she murmurs around another yawn. "I owe you." Quite literally, actually. Sunjata's time isn't generally a handout when he's here.
Colt
Maybe one day I'll get back the rhythm in my chest
Received a Gilded Market wig from Remi that resembles her usual hair and is enchanted to stay on better than most wigs | has a reverse centaur tattoo on her left hand with the legs going down her pointer and middle fingers that looks like this.
