flora
Flora stays folded over the sink until the worst of it passes, breath coming shallow and uneven, the world tilting unpleasantly beneath her feet. When she finally straightens she feels light-headed and hollowed out, colour leached from her face as she reaches for a hand towel and wipes at her mouth with shaking fingers. She turns toward him slowly, chest still heaving, panting faintly as she tries to drag air back into lungs that do not seem interested in cooperating.
She hears Kai distantly, like he's somewhere far away, and his words hit her harder than the nausea. Flora’s mouth parts, eyes widening as if she has misheard him, as if the ground itself has shifted without warning. That’s it? The secret she has carried for years, the reason everything with Jack was volatile and consuming and broken, the reason love had felt inevitable and ruinous all at once, the explanation for who Jack became and what he took from her without ever meaning to and what he gave, the weight she has borne alone in silence because she promised she would. The promise she has just broken, finally and irrevocably, the echo of it still ringing in her ears. The reason she asked Kaisel to come to the top of the world so she would not have to hold it alone anymore.
And he laughs.
Emotion ripples across her face in quick, unguarded succession; disbelief first, then hurt sharp enough to sting, followed by something brittle and defensive snapping into place as if her body has decided it cannot afford to be soft right now. She clutches the towel to her chest and stares at him like he is suddenly impossibly far away, leaning back against the counter and wrapping her arms around herself, tank top doing nothing to shield her from the sudden chill that has nothing to do with temperature. "Sorry," she says, a hollow edge creeping into her voice as she lets out a small, incredulous scoff of her own, "is breaking the biggest promise I ever swore I’d keep not enough?"
The world feels like it has dropped out from under her, like she has just laid herself bare in the most vulnerable way she knows how only to have it brushed aside, and the realization leaves her reeling, standing there pale and shaking as if the lighthouse has finally claimed its due. Somewhere, she's sure Jack is laughing.
She hears Kai distantly, like he's somewhere far away, and his words hit her harder than the nausea. Flora’s mouth parts, eyes widening as if she has misheard him, as if the ground itself has shifted without warning. That’s it? The secret she has carried for years, the reason everything with Jack was volatile and consuming and broken, the reason love had felt inevitable and ruinous all at once, the explanation for who Jack became and what he took from her without ever meaning to and what he gave, the weight she has borne alone in silence because she promised she would. The promise she has just broken, finally and irrevocably, the echo of it still ringing in her ears. The reason she asked Kaisel to come to the top of the world so she would not have to hold it alone anymore.
And he laughs.
Emotion ripples across her face in quick, unguarded succession; disbelief first, then hurt sharp enough to sting, followed by something brittle and defensive snapping into place as if her body has decided it cannot afford to be soft right now. She clutches the towel to her chest and stares at him like he is suddenly impossibly far away, leaning back against the counter and wrapping her arms around herself, tank top doing nothing to shield her from the sudden chill that has nothing to do with temperature. "Sorry," she says, a hollow edge creeping into her voice as she lets out a small, incredulous scoff of her own, "is breaking the biggest promise I ever swore I’d keep not enough?"
The world feels like it has dropped out from under her, like she has just laid herself bare in the most vulnerable way she knows how only to have it brushed aside, and the realization leaves her reeling, standing there pale and shaking as if the lighthouse has finally claimed its due. Somewhere, she's sure Jack is laughing.
Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness
'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea
'Cause it's all over now, all out to sea
