Thalassa
Said you won't forget my name
Thal clenched her jaw tighter at his words, unwilling to admit the truth he spoke, how right it had felt to be infected, how much she hadn't wanted to be cured of the feeling. And yet, looking back, the memories made her nauseous, the clarity showing her how truly brainwashed she'd been, and how utterly screwed she would have been if Asta hadn't cured her. She would have continued moving through life as a shell, what little heart she had broken in pieces like a lovesick puppy abandoned on the side of a dark, rainy road. It sickened her.
She didn't want to talk about it unless she was thoroughly drunk, uncertain anyone would ever understand the decisions that had put her in that situation, or the self-hatred it had cultivated in her.
Still, she wouldn't allow Liam to absolve her of guilt so easily, allowing him to cast all the blame on the Void that had taken root in her, because she didn't believe that. Thal didn't believe that it was only the infection that had her stealing Liam to deliver him at Dahlia's feet. Her lips pursed, darkened by frustration as she voiced her belief, "I don't think the infection ever forced an action that wasn't already in my nature." She wouldn't add that her anger towards Maea had most likely contributed, that she couldn't guarantee her own innocence when her ex-friend had caused so much hurt that she'd been willing to strike him just to get to the Ancient. It wasn't something she was proud of. Not because she was above torture or revenge or violence on bystanders, but because she'd still harbored enough emotion for Maea to let it control her like that.
Coughing up smoke, Thal took another deep breath, her voice raspy as she said, "I just have to live with that." She wiped her ashen hands against her pants, the black smearing with gray and white in a blemish she'd never be able to remove. Pushing upright, she rallied what dwindling strength she had in order to stand. Her eyes strayed towards Liam as she rose. "At least you seem to have made it out mostly unscathed." There might have been some bitterness in her tone, but there were equal parts relief, an acknowledgement that her heartless actions hadn't caused irreparable damage.
She didn't want to talk about it unless she was thoroughly drunk, uncertain anyone would ever understand the decisions that had put her in that situation, or the self-hatred it had cultivated in her.
Still, she wouldn't allow Liam to absolve her of guilt so easily, allowing him to cast all the blame on the Void that had taken root in her, because she didn't believe that. Thal didn't believe that it was only the infection that had her stealing Liam to deliver him at Dahlia's feet. Her lips pursed, darkened by frustration as she voiced her belief, "I don't think the infection ever forced an action that wasn't already in my nature." She wouldn't add that her anger towards Maea had most likely contributed, that she couldn't guarantee her own innocence when her ex-friend had caused so much hurt that she'd been willing to strike him just to get to the Ancient. It wasn't something she was proud of. Not because she was above torture or revenge or violence on bystanders, but because she'd still harbored enough emotion for Maea to let it control her like that.
Coughing up smoke, Thal took another deep breath, her voice raspy as she said, "I just have to live with that." She wiped her ashen hands against her pants, the black smearing with gray and white in a blemish she'd never be able to remove. Pushing upright, she rallied what dwindling strength she had in order to stand. Her eyes strayed towards Liam as she rose. "At least you seem to have made it out mostly unscathed." There might have been some bitterness in her tone, but there were equal parts relief, an acknowledgement that her heartless actions hadn't caused irreparable damage.
not today, not tomorrow.
