Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn

Koa

Don't you just wanna wake up dark as a lake
Smelling like a bonfire, lost in a haze?

So kinda yes, kinda no on the feud being his fault. Koa looks down as Zavien begins his tale, more than a little put out by the fact that apparently everyone knew about Kaisel and Fora before he did. But then he brings up lying to Lena, and the Dragoon's eyes grow wide in alarm. "Lie about what?!" he asks, scoffing, because this sure feels like an escalation, even for his impetuous cousin.

Then Zavien's going on and Koa can only listen in dumbfounded bemusement, eyebrows slowly rising to the level of his hair. "He shouldn't be threatening anyone," comes his indignant interjection, the words punctuated by a flourished gesticulation with his spatula-wielding hand. But then Flora joins the mix, and now Koa's really thrown, because while he's known the Doubletake to make mountains out of molehills, threatening an entire region because of an interpersonal disagreement feels far beyond the pale.

It takes a beat after Zavien's finished for Koa to gather his thoughts, and even so the first thing he can blurt is, "What the fuck, man." Koa's grip on the spatula has tightened to the point of blanching his knuckles; he clenches his teeth in angry disbelief, the pressure shooting down his jaw. "Okay, well, first of all, I would have clocked Kai if he pulled that shit." Which perhaps would be more acceptable coming from a family member than a leader, but minor details and all that.

"And secondly, what the fuck, Flora? Stormbreak's infinitely better than Torchline, and her home wasn't fucking occupied by demon bitches from space." No, Torchline had remained sparkly and untouched while Stormbreak was made to rot from within. "And implying that she's better than you because you're an 'amateur' is rich, considering when she became Queen it was alongside Hadama, while you're having to do the whole thing alone."

He might have gone on, too, were it not for the distracting smell of burning; with another curse he returns to his slightly crispy patties, continuing to swear as he pulls them off the heat.

Moderately calmer for the distraction, Koa exhales a heavy sigh. "Honestly, Zav? Fuck 'em both," he declares, putting a firm hand on his friend's shoulder. "Flora can't handle conflict to save her life, and Kai's head is so far up his own ass it's amazing his breath doesn't smell like shit."  Maybe his vitriol is getting a little exaggerated; maybe he ought to cool his head, play voice of reason as he often does. But Koa has some feelings he's been repressing, and Zav's just handed him a karaoke machine.

If you're drunk on life, babe, I think it's great
But while in this world I think I'll take my whiskey neat