How do I keep myself from fallin' apart when I ain't never felt part of a whole?
It’s crueler to be refused a way forward, she thinks as she watches him walk away, out the door she’d left hanging open in her frantic entry. He tells her he’s hurt, but won’t tell her where, won’t hand her sutures. He tells her he needs space, but doesn’t say how far. He tells her he needs time, but not how much. And he tells her to figure it out for herself - but she doesn’t need to, she’s here, willing to do any and everything. What is there to figure out on her own? She knows what she wants, how she feels, where her heart lies. It’s a mockery to be told to solve a puzzle he won’t even hand over.
But she can’t hurt him further by being angry. No matter how justified it may or may not be. She would rather strip herself of her own due share of expressed emotion if it would mean a few granules of ground gained or deference shown.
So she bites into her mouth until the blood overflows enough to ensure she must keep her silence. She holds herself, frozen in place as if the shattering of her heart might overlook her if she stands still enough. The empty house he leaves her in is surely as awful as it had been to him while she was missing, and Ru knows it, but staying feels more unfair than some gesture of walking in his shoes. No matter how they both feel she had done nothing but make the wrong choice in where to rest her wings. The irony of that statement is a bitter whisper in her own voice that mocks her - see? Nobody stays, even when they promise. Because of you. A lifetime of the same ending and you’d think she’d have learned that by now.
He’s long gone when the strings finally sever, sending her crumpled to the floor, the death rattle of her cries muffled only by the wings of the creature that caused all of this - the one she can now never be rid of, never truly hate, because their souls are intertwined evermore. The dragon coos an attempt at comfort. The sound is lost under Hotaru’s crying. The only thing that can fix her doesn’t want her, so all that’s left is the bleed-out.
- Fin
But she can’t hurt him further by being angry. No matter how justified it may or may not be. She would rather strip herself of her own due share of expressed emotion if it would mean a few granules of ground gained or deference shown.
So she bites into her mouth until the blood overflows enough to ensure she must keep her silence. She holds herself, frozen in place as if the shattering of her heart might overlook her if she stands still enough. The empty house he leaves her in is surely as awful as it had been to him while she was missing, and Ru knows it, but staying feels more unfair than some gesture of walking in his shoes. No matter how they both feel she had done nothing but make the wrong choice in where to rest her wings. The irony of that statement is a bitter whisper in her own voice that mocks her - see? Nobody stays, even when they promise. Because of you. A lifetime of the same ending and you’d think she’d have learned that by now.
He’s long gone when the strings finally sever, sending her crumpled to the floor, the death rattle of her cries muffled only by the wings of the creature that caused all of this - the one she can now never be rid of, never truly hate, because their souls are intertwined evermore. The dragon coos an attempt at comfort. The sound is lost under Hotaru’s crying. The only thing that can fix her doesn’t want her, so all that’s left is the bleed-out.
- Fin
HOTARU
