The skies are black with lead-filled rain
a morbid painting on display
a morbid painting on display
Graceless it might be, but it ensures every twitch of an expression as it's formed, or the tone of her voice, even the cadence of her breathing - it's all sincere. Enough that it cleaves Hotaru's chest open like rotten wood that leaves splinters but brings light in where there had previously been none. With it comes air that fills her lungs with a sharp swiftness that stutters audibly on her tongue. There are fewer years between them than most mothers and daughters, but it still feels shameful to find absolution in Flora's immediate disbelief. Permission and understanding that she hadn't expected to need until she'd come home to Sunjata and found them absent.
Her smile drops, the weak attempt shattered by Flora's earnest defense. "It's not the first time I've disappeared on him. Or others he's loved. I suppose it was one time too many, regardless of reason." But does that make it just? Fair? Whispers doubtfully in her mind and her lips twist further downward as it settles somewhere in the back of her head.
The slow recollection of the timeline of events makes Hotaru's chest tighten slowly, like a tourniquet being twisted in an agonizing life-saving effort. Only this news doesn't feel like anything half as helpful as that. Instinct shutters her expression until only a placid stillness remains, hiding the throbbing pain that strengthens in her chest until she blinks and remembers that the woman in her arms is her daughter. There's nothing to fear in showing her hurt here. "I see. As he put it, it was a combined effort of asking, and 'Frey said I was fine'." Convenient that the 'we' he'd claimed was truly just her daughter taking the initiative, right? Not like a longer conversation could have unearthed greater information. Bitterness tightens faint creases into the corners of her eyes, teeth pressing together until a faint ache builds in her jaw. She keeps telling herself she has no right to be angry, to accuse him of falling short when she started all this by dying, but she is angry. She's angry and she's hurt and she knows letting herself feel it will only lead to devastation - so she simply can't.
It's a lot to share at once, which is unfair of her and she knows it, but every second that passes without being able to talk about all of this feels like holding poison in her lungs. Equally, she feels beholden to some unspoken expectation of motherhood that forbids her from exactly that, so the swift onset of discussing citizenship is a kneejerk attempt to course-correct. Flora's easy acceptance folds Hotaru like a house of cards, hands coming to wrap around Flora's elbows where the Doubletake holds onto her waist.
"Thank you. I just...well, I didn't have anywhere else to go. Not that I could think of anywhere but here with you." Halo, certainly, but as she'd told Noah there were simply too many ghosts there. Too many heartbreaks which she had already weathered in the snow and ice. To do so again would break her.
"It's a bit fucked up, isn't it?" It comes out without her permission, strangled and sudden - and then, equally as sudden, she's crying. Horror drips cold down her nape even as her hands tighten, shaking, around Flora's arms. They're small but persistent tears, dripping off her lashes to fall through the space between their entangled arms without touching her cheeks. Hotaru swiftly removes a hand to slap it over her eyes, shoulders trembling around a frantic inhale as she tries to regain control. "I'm - I'm sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn't be talking about this. I know what he means to you -" her voice snaps in half alongside what remains of her heart and a sob ekes out, eyes clenching tight behind her palm as she sways nearer to Flora.
He'd been like another father to Flora. And because of Hotaru's stupid mistake she has ruined that for her daughter too. Again. For once, her selfish, bitter heart hopes that Flora and Sunjata's closeness will eclipse any loyalty Flora has for Hotaru, if only to ensure that only the Valkyrie suffers these changes.
Her smile drops, the weak attempt shattered by Flora's earnest defense. "It's not the first time I've disappeared on him. Or others he's loved. I suppose it was one time too many, regardless of reason." But does that make it just? Fair? Whispers doubtfully in her mind and her lips twist further downward as it settles somewhere in the back of her head.
The slow recollection of the timeline of events makes Hotaru's chest tighten slowly, like a tourniquet being twisted in an agonizing life-saving effort. Only this news doesn't feel like anything half as helpful as that. Instinct shutters her expression until only a placid stillness remains, hiding the throbbing pain that strengthens in her chest until she blinks and remembers that the woman in her arms is her daughter. There's nothing to fear in showing her hurt here. "I see. As he put it, it was a combined effort of asking, and 'Frey said I was fine'." Convenient that the 'we' he'd claimed was truly just her daughter taking the initiative, right? Not like a longer conversation could have unearthed greater information. Bitterness tightens faint creases into the corners of her eyes, teeth pressing together until a faint ache builds in her jaw. She keeps telling herself she has no right to be angry, to accuse him of falling short when she started all this by dying, but she is angry. She's angry and she's hurt and she knows letting herself feel it will only lead to devastation - so she simply can't.
It's a lot to share at once, which is unfair of her and she knows it, but every second that passes without being able to talk about all of this feels like holding poison in her lungs. Equally, she feels beholden to some unspoken expectation of motherhood that forbids her from exactly that, so the swift onset of discussing citizenship is a kneejerk attempt to course-correct. Flora's easy acceptance folds Hotaru like a house of cards, hands coming to wrap around Flora's elbows where the Doubletake holds onto her waist.
"Thank you. I just...well, I didn't have anywhere else to go. Not that I could think of anywhere but here with you." Halo, certainly, but as she'd told Noah there were simply too many ghosts there. Too many heartbreaks which she had already weathered in the snow and ice. To do so again would break her.
"It's a bit fucked up, isn't it?" It comes out without her permission, strangled and sudden - and then, equally as sudden, she's crying. Horror drips cold down her nape even as her hands tighten, shaking, around Flora's arms. They're small but persistent tears, dripping off her lashes to fall through the space between their entangled arms without touching her cheeks. Hotaru swiftly removes a hand to slap it over her eyes, shoulders trembling around a frantic inhale as she tries to regain control. "I'm - I'm sorry, sweetheart, I shouldn't be talking about this. I know what he means to you -" her voice snaps in half alongside what remains of her heart and a sob ekes out, eyes clenching tight behind her palm as she sways nearer to Flora.
He'd been like another father to Flora. And because of Hotaru's stupid mistake she has ruined that for her daughter too. Again. For once, her selfish, bitter heart hopes that Flora and Sunjata's closeness will eclipse any loyalty Flora has for Hotaru, if only to ensure that only the Valkyrie suffers these changes.
This is the night that young love died
Buried at each others sides
Buried at each others sides
