Zavien
Never regret anything that made you smile
His hand pressed against his eyes, wishing desperately that he could take away the anguished look on Soh's face. She'd woken up to a completely different person, and while he was trying to wrangle his emotions in order, he'd given her the impression that he was rejecting her. He had to admit that it would be a cruel move after everything that had happened between them, but the problem was that he couldn't fathom what had happened. Nothing he'd done was something he hadn't wanted or thought about before. And yet, how had he been so careless to act on those impulses? How could he betray a friend like that? Koa hadn't deserved it, and Soh definitely didn't. In acting without so much as a thought for anyone but himself, he'd possibly just ruined everything, including what they'd shared yesterday.
And now he was just making it worse.
Taking a deep breath, Zavien sat up in the bed, the sheet falling to his waist as he looked to Soh, wrestling with the desire to pull her into his arms. Experience told him she was on the verge of tears, the pleading in her voice telling him that he needed to shove aside his worries and be brutally honest right now if he was going to keep this from falling apart - if he wanted any chance of saving whatever this was before she went running.
"No." He shook his head, reaching for her hand if only to keep her there, hoping it might communicate some of what he couldn't. Referring to her earlier question, he admitted, "Because I slept better than I have in years." Zavien squeezed her hand gently, laughing lightly with so much disbelief that he might have sounded crazy when he looked to the ceiling and he added, "And I know it's because of you and everything feels so easy and right with you and I don't want to lose this, but - " His breath trembled, struggling between what he hadn't admitted to wanting for himself and the fear of what he might have destroyed by impulsively acting on it. "I just - I need a minute to process how this is going to work."
And now he was just making it worse.
Taking a deep breath, Zavien sat up in the bed, the sheet falling to his waist as he looked to Soh, wrestling with the desire to pull her into his arms. Experience told him she was on the verge of tears, the pleading in her voice telling him that he needed to shove aside his worries and be brutally honest right now if he was going to keep this from falling apart - if he wanted any chance of saving whatever this was before she went running.
"No." He shook his head, reaching for her hand if only to keep her there, hoping it might communicate some of what he couldn't. Referring to her earlier question, he admitted, "Because I slept better than I have in years." Zavien squeezed her hand gently, laughing lightly with so much disbelief that he might have sounded crazy when he looked to the ceiling and he added, "And I know it's because of you and everything feels so easy and right with you and I don't want to lose this, but - " His breath trembled, struggling between what he hadn't admitted to wanting for himself and the fear of what he might have destroyed by impulsively acting on it. "I just - I need a minute to process how this is going to work."
