Zavien
Never regret anything that made you smile
She shifted in his arms and he braced for the heartbreak, the one where she told him the fear was too much, that she didn't want someone so burdened with darkness, that she didn't want him back. He was still grappling with his guilt and grief, his hands shaking slightly with the effort of bearing it all, dreading the moment she slipped from his grasp. Only for her to settle back into his arms, forehead pressed against his.
It nearly broke him. Zavien sucked in a breath, his eyes falling closed as he tried to understand that she was still there, staying even when his fears might drag her down with him. He could barely comprehend what was happening, how the woman on his lap had wound up there, how she could still be there after everything he'd said and done. So much relief crashed into him that he shrank beneath her, the tension evaporating and leaving nothing but tender sensitivity and the awareness of her.
When his eyes opened to meet hers, they were a swirl of emotions: appreciation, pain, conflict, affection. He leaned into her touch, shaking his head as he let out another shaky breath. "I know, and I can't let the fear stop me from living." He'd said it to a million people before, but sometimes it was easier said than done, and the more Soh spoke, the more Zavien knew what he needed to do.
His hands rubbed absently along her back as he slowed his breathing, steeling himself for the decision he was about to make. "It won't be easy, but..." He paused, shoulders finding strength as he wrestled down the worries and fears and everything that told him this couldn't be right when his heart said differently. "I want to make this work," he said firmly, and in case the meaning was unclear, he stared intently into her eyes as he clarified, "Us."
It nearly broke him. Zavien sucked in a breath, his eyes falling closed as he tried to understand that she was still there, staying even when his fears might drag her down with him. He could barely comprehend what was happening, how the woman on his lap had wound up there, how she could still be there after everything he'd said and done. So much relief crashed into him that he shrank beneath her, the tension evaporating and leaving nothing but tender sensitivity and the awareness of her.
When his eyes opened to meet hers, they were a swirl of emotions: appreciation, pain, conflict, affection. He leaned into her touch, shaking his head as he let out another shaky breath. "I know, and I can't let the fear stop me from living." He'd said it to a million people before, but sometimes it was easier said than done, and the more Soh spoke, the more Zavien knew what he needed to do.
His hands rubbed absently along her back as he slowed his breathing, steeling himself for the decision he was about to make. "It won't be easy, but..." He paused, shoulders finding strength as he wrestled down the worries and fears and everything that told him this couldn't be right when his heart said differently. "I want to make this work," he said firmly, and in case the meaning was unclear, he stared intently into her eyes as he clarified, "Us."
